tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77732443204393009182024-03-14T10:48:45.292-04:00American DifterCurrent events and social commentary for the fewer than twenty people that will read this blog.Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-36835071446988015462013-11-26T13:18:00.001-05:002013-11-26T14:17:31.747-05:00The Iran Contra Dance Scandal<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A joint plan of action was the latest development to emerge from the Iran v. World (US/Israel/Christmas Islands) saga. The document details new stipulations for the Iranian nuclear enrichment program (text <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/interactive/2013/nov/24/iran-nuclear-deal-joint-plan-action?CMP=twt_gu">here</a>) and explains the incremental decrease of international sanctions on Iran's economy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The highlights of the deal include that Iran taper its nuclear enrichment while allowing international inspectors to monitor progress-- <b>daily</b>. In return, the US will promise to probably not bomb Iran and give them access to $7 Billion in frozen overseas assets.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Let the shit storm begin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">First off, $7 billion in assets sounds substantial, right? In <a href="http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/11/25/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-iran-sanctions-but-felt-too-dumb-to-ask">fact</a>, it's only about 1% of Iran's GDP. In other words, say Iran imposed crippling economic sanctions against the US and then decided to allow us access to our assets in agriculture, forestry, hunting and fishing <b>combined, </b></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">ECONOMIC MOBILITY FOR ALL!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Raw numbers aside, the political backlash has been fierce. Tom Cohen of CNN wrote an <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/25/politics/iran-deal-opponents-5-things/index.html">article</a> on Monday titled "5 reasons diverse critics oppose Iran nuclear deal."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cohen makes a legitimate case for the opposition group's diversity, including Israel, Democrats with strong ties to Israel, and Republicans combatting any Obama-led peace efforts for political clout/strong ties to Israel.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Diverse like a Christian rock album.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But most circles opposed to the deal cite serious trust-issues with Iran. It's important that we heed their advice, and it's even <i>more</i> important that we ignore the fact that current Iranian president <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px;">Hassan Rouhani <a href="http://blogs.reuters.com/great-debate/2013/09/24/for-u-s-iran-its-all-in-the-timing/">helped</a> <a href="http://antiwar.com/blog/2013/09/24/no-sanctions-did-not-prompt-irans-new-diplomacy/">lead</a> the charge for an even <i>better</i> deal in 2003 when he was Secretary of Iran's Supreme National Security Council.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Offered in 2003 to "<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: left;">open up [Iran's] nuclear program for transparency, collaborate with the U.S. in Iraq, restrain Hamas and Islamic jihad and even indirectly recognize Israel." <br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="font-family: inherit;">BUT CAN HE BE TRUSTED?</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">We at American Difter urge readers to remain skeptical when it comes to trusting this Islamic nation's suspicious <i>legal-uranium-enrichment-for-energy-</i></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 22px;"><i>purposes-even-after-repeatedly-stating-that-they-had-no-intention-to-construct-a-nuclear-weapon-because-it-violates-tenants-of-Islam-and-even-if-they-did-get-the-bomb-its-purpose-would-likely-be-to-deter-the-US-and/or-Israel-from-preemptively-attacking-their-country-which-hasn't-openly-attacked-another-country-in-over-300-years </i>strategy. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Have a nice Tuesdift. </span></div>
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(Check off your reaction below-- for past articles too)</div>
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Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-39052750367841917122013-11-16T19:55:00.001-05:002013-11-16T19:55:07.609-05:00Stop and Fresca<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The Huffington Post recently second-handedly <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/14/half-of-new-yorks-stop-a_n_4277680.html">reported</a> that the NYPD's "Stop-and-Frisk" strategy, initiated to ebb crime in New York City, only produces an arrest half of the time an individual is stopped and frisked.<br />
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Critics of the procedure claim that Stop-and-Frisk unfairly targets minorities, with recent numbers indicating that 87 percent of people stopped and frisked belong to minority groups. Yet lame-duck Mayor Michael Bloomberg cites a "30 percent decrease in crime" during his first three terms in office (the team at AD assumes Mayor Bloomberg will find a way to petition the city council and oust Mayor-elect Bill de Blasio before he take office on January 1st).<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">"My fourth-term slogan...? <b>DOWN FOR A PAT-DOWN!</b>"</td></tr>
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One can't deny that stop-and-frisk has been effective in slowing down crime and even getting illegal weapons off the streets. Yet we cannot ignore that the use of this tactic perpetuates racial profiling. <div>
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We at American Difter believe there is a solution:<div>
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<b>Stop-and-Audit.</b><br /><br />
Instead of completely halting the NYPD's targeting of minority groups to prevent violent crime, we propose that New York City <b>directly employ thousands of IRS agents</b> to randomly stop and audit bankers in New York's Financial District to curb rampant tax evasion.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">"If you are white and wearing a suit, PLEASE take out your ID and a recent W2 form, "</td></tr>
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It is well known that most tax evaders are white. Heck, even our former Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner is a <a href="http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/alexspillius/8174427/Tim_Geithners_tax_evasion_/">tax-evader</a>. With Stop-and-Audit in place, New York City's government would not only be sending a message of fairness to all races, it would likely collect millions of dollars in lost tax revenue.<br />
<br />Join American Difter in calling for equal-opportunity racial-profiling in New York City.<br /><br /></div>
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Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-59430810415055327092013-06-05T12:22:00.000-04:002013-06-05T17:06:52.827-04:00Google Glass Kiboshes Ass<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The interwebs are atwitter with Google's bombshell of a move to <a href="http://www.techhive.com/article/2040616/google-says-no-to-sexually-explicit-content-on-glass.html">ban porn</a> from their already metaphorically masturbatory facial-computer, Google Glass. The story broke as developer company MiKandi became the first to create a pornography application for Glass, brilliantly titled Tits & Glass. Immediately following this development, Google pulled an "oh shit we had no IDEA people were going to try to use this for porn," and updated its <a href="https://developers.google.com/glass/policies#c_what_you_cant_do_in_your_application">developer policy</a>:</span><br />
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<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong>Sexually Explicit Material</strong>: We don't allow Glassware content that contains nudity, graphic sex acts, or sexually explicit material. Google has a zero-tolerance policy against child pornography. If we become aware of content with child pornography, we will report it to the appropriate authorities and delete the Google Accounts of those involved with the distribution.</li>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Gotta love Google, veiling themselves with the cloak of morality: <i>We're banning porn . . . And we DEFINITELY don't want kiddie porn. In fact, if anyone tries to upload kiddie porn we will royally F*CK you because kiddie porn is REPUGNANT . . . </i></span></span><i style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; line-height: 21px;">have you forgotten about that first clause yet?</i></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Besides the obviously Orwellian move to outright ban certain content from personal tech, the issue here is that Google clearly does not understand its target market.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bro, can't WAIT for the Feministing.com app! </td></tr>
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That aside, readers should take note that Google's purist view on content is nothing new in the tech world. Recall in 2010 Steve Jobs dropped the "freedom from porn" line in an <a href="http://gawker.com/5539717/steve-jobs-offers-world-freedom-from-porn">e-mail exchange</a> with Gawker's Ryan Tate. The point is that as long as tech titans offer cutting-edge peripherals that make consumers feel good about themselves, no one is <i>really</i> going to give a shit what content gets banned.<br />
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The reality is that this story offers a nice distraction from the growing concern over Glass' face and voice recognition capabilities. In a clip from the IDG News Service's <a href="http://www.techhive.com/article/2038946/lawmakers-press-google-on-glass-privacy.html">coverage of the Google IO convention</a>, O'Reilly Media's VP of Content, Mike Hendrickson, encapsulates the debate perfectly:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMBCClAhZULNj_4yyqxLtGsO98ePRGvD3t4vXl3oYukarILG6BTHCg6jIUjUs2FQYXUdrkvN0zzyFy3IQbbUDLeRC0mJCp4ZrbwLjL63YpPvXdydB8rV6HTTIO6phyIBG7O-cltuPOGPkv/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-06-05+at+11.05.57+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMBCClAhZULNj_4yyqxLtGsO98ePRGvD3t4vXl3oYukarILG6BTHCg6jIUjUs2FQYXUdrkvN0zzyFy3IQbbUDLeRC0mJCp4ZrbwLjL63YpPvXdydB8rV6HTTIO6phyIBG7O-cltuPOGPkv/s400/Screen+Shot+2013-06-05+at+11.05.57+AM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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" . . . so the creepy part is you could stalk people, the cool part is you can also remember names, which, if you're bad at remembering names, Glass could be a really good mnemonic for helping you do that,"<br />
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Remembering names.<br />
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Imagine you're at a bar and you recognize someone from across the room. Instead of being a complete creeper, walking up to them and saying, "hey I'm sorry, what's your name again?" you can just talk into the totally normal-looking wire frame on your face, focus in on the person, and BOOM, social awkwardness avoided!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Make out session brought to you by the Remember that Biddy app</td></tr>
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But people, the team at American Difter would like to reassure you that Google is already taking measures to prevent these kinds of invasive, privacy-crushing capabilities. Let's revisit the platform developer policy concerning face/voice recognition apps:<br />
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<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Don't use the camera or microphone to cross-reference and immediately present personal information identifying anyone other than the user, including use cases such as facial recognition and voice print. Applications that do this will not be approved at this time.</li>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Nothing says digital integrity like ". . . will not be approved at this time." </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 21px;">Have a nice dift.</span></span></div>
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Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-83401349705843149502013-05-06T12:35:00.002-04:002013-05-06T12:35:37.296-04:00HP AK's <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today's top story from the Internet's #1 recycling bin concerns the recent <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/06/3d-printed-gun-fired_n_3222669.html">development</a> of a functioning 3D-printed firearm.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF_gG8Shxk_z4wUAp_rg1bgTFkT7Re-b82mWRpQmXNCYFbQ2wiCfwSCuZ1NxrYs8xl1HgPCb48naeyjlR7YsBQZ6u7bGHB72h_K1AbvqjVHLdQQKWKA2pESEnMqG2n58gSmI2dhRgexZU9/s1600/_67434964_gunfired.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF_gG8Shxk_z4wUAp_rg1bgTFkT7Re-b82mWRpQmXNCYFbQ2wiCfwSCuZ1NxrYs8xl1HgPCb48naeyjlR7YsBQZ6u7bGHB72h_K1AbvqjVHLdQQKWKA2pESEnMqG2n58gSmI2dhRgexZU9/s400/_67434964_gunfired.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Really bro? You need earplugs for an inkjet glock?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
While the story is a bit rattling, this is just the icing on the cake for the Huffington Post, whose coverage of at-home gun violence has noticeably peaked in the wake of recently failed gun-control legislation.<br />
<br />
The article raises some initial questions: will Americans have access to semi-automatic-printed-out rifles? Can 3D ink produce high-ammunition magazines? Will there be background checks for 3D printers? Will ignorant southern states continue to benefit from egregious "3D Printer Show" loopholes?<br />
<br />
These questions are fair, but they only look at one side of the issue.<br />
<br />
The article, focused on riling up fear over gun technology, completely eschews other legitimate concerns spawned by 3D printing technology:<br />
<br />
1. Can 3D printers be used to manufacture birth control pills?<br />
<br />
2. Can they print drywall for Israeli settlements in the West Bank?<br />
<br />
3. Can they be used to make Man & Man miniatures on gay marriage wedding cakes?<br />
<br />
It's continual half-coverage of these issues that the mainstream media perpetuates. Keep your eyes open; the team at American Difter urges you to demand more out of 3D printer technology coverage.</div>
Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-72065791894090714602013-04-27T10:56:00.001-04:002013-04-27T10:56:20.676-04:00al-Awlaki Strikes Again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'd like to offer my deepest love for the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing. It's jarring when terror strikes home. And especially in the aftermath of such an abhorrent attack, it's important to realize how lucky we are not to be terrorized like this on a daily basis, like we see in so many places around the world. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Love to all victims.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That being said, let's slice into the shit.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Pentagon spokesnetwork CNN is <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2013/04/24/us/boston-awlaki-influence/index.html?hpt=hp_c2">re-indicting</a> American-born radical cleric <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">Anwar al-Awlaki for inspiring everything from the most recent Boston attacks to Guy Fawkes' attempted bombing of the British House of Lords in 1605. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUIMrpb2MMM0JuwU4INJPGQCUcXA3Px-FZHs6gE6-yNhmIh6boJMcE1JgsUazVYNxq0TmWrANMGl73jAW9WXy06wq2xsNbuUdlMP3YtPv_Pc4pDeICK4oJjatpwY6m6hbalBygEopV0Tu-/s1600/_49718063_010276070-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUIMrpb2MMM0JuwU4INJPGQCUcXA3Px-FZHs6gE6-yNhmIh6boJMcE1JgsUazVYNxq0TmWrANMGl73jAW9WXy06wq2xsNbuUdlMP3YtPv_Pc4pDeICK4oJjatpwY6m6hbalBygEopV0Tu-/s400/_49718063_010276070-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Western Decadence DEMANDS that you pull my finger</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 19px;">The revealing article presents new evidence from US officials, </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">detailing the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 19px;">Tsarnaev brothers' process of radicalization. The article drops this bombshell of a quote pinning the connection between the Tsarnaev brothers and the assassinated cleric:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"the preachings of Anwar al-Awlaki were likely to have been among the videos they watched."</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Holy SHIT. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Folks, let's put aside the fact the al-Awlaki's assassination marked the first time in our history that an <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2011/sep/30/anwar-awlaki-extrajudicial-murder">executive order</a> gave the green light for killing an American citizen overseas without due process, and let's also put aside the fact that two weeks later the we <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/10/how-team-obama-justifies-the-killing-of-a-16-year-old-american/264028/">killed his 16 year old son</a> in the same fashion (omitted from the CNN article but no big deal it's not relevant), the reality is that CNN is <strike>continuing to justify the Obama administration's out of control drone campaign</strike> doing what a news outlet should be doing: exposing truth, making connections, and reminding us that sometimes you just need to take a guy out.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The team at American Difter proposes we find al-Awlaki's body, re-animate him, and drone strike him again while blasting Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA."</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The first time obviously didn't get the message across.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-72131752879383407392013-03-22T08:21:00.001-04:002013-03-22T08:21:25.095-04:00Gay Fridift<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The Huffington Post <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/18/michelle-shocked-anti-gay-rant-god-hates-fags_n_2901564.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular#slide=2104964">reported</a> on Monday that singer-songwriter Michelle Shocked recently went off on a homophobic rant to her San Fraciscan audience during a concert. The original article from <a href="http://sfist.com/2013/03/18/michelle_shocked_launches_into_anti.php">SFist</a> reported her saying: "I live in fear," she said, "that the world will be destroyed if gays are allowed to marry."<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB_pPVWD18njzEml0AJqjtLZpvWEYQxFrLCMJLUlTj-BrrzOEJJLHBpXDtHV0_yrwTXyysKetGxbrzbn7t-LtGOG2t3_X4C33VY1dnI1ygprdMpK6VUVj5s-psIPdhKgH3VOmSQu5_Dg_t/s1600/michelleshocked-306v-1363805956.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB_pPVWD18njzEml0AJqjtLZpvWEYQxFrLCMJLUlTj-BrrzOEJJLHBpXDtHV0_yrwTXyysKetGxbrzbn7t-LtGOG2t3_X4C33VY1dnI1ygprdMpK6VUVj5s-psIPdhKgH3VOmSQu5_Dg_t/s400/michelleshocked-306v-1363805956.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Someone just lost their Lilith Fair privileges</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Listen, what Shocked said was abhorrent, but I mean, you gotta give her credit. I mean shit, SAN FRANCISCO? You might as well have Adam Lambert performing "for your entertainment" at the annual NRA board meeting.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7qAaWJoTeNZwiONFycwzUm1eUfg69hvForP2MeMej9m26VSh0KqkEYGJRRVoh3mZcIaCSmbbbRY4icPZSXsDfPaL0ikBqNsC0WSfBo3djvg7yONWKtl01P1dpY6vDBrBeEJ9gbNh4wn_D/s1600/adamlambertcoversfiascoobsessionissue03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7qAaWJoTeNZwiONFycwzUm1eUfg69hvForP2MeMej9m26VSh0KqkEYGJRRVoh3mZcIaCSmbbbRY4icPZSXsDfPaL0ikBqNsC0WSfBo3djvg7yONWKtl01P1dpY6vDBrBeEJ9gbNh4wn_D/s400/adamlambertcoversfiascoobsessionissue03.jpg" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thinking back on when he was relevant</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I think we can say with relative certainty that Shocked's Provincetown performance has been postponed.<br />
<br />
Here's what actually bothered me about this article: the writer leads us through Shocked's backstory, all about how she's a "former" lesbian turned evangelical, obviously to make the reader (presumably liberal, pro-LGBT) disgusted with her words and simultaneously self-congratulating for being one of the "enlightened" who can label hate when they see it. Then, at the bottom of the page, this deftly placed slideshow:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg208l9aUeE6aHojOUFJXY2mlEoFslQiW3h9W7vtsf0EVtPbswGyzGU2zSiANncuDiiMO2rSR1pXYqAPSO2u9_vlasybmqrHPYSW7B5Nq9HFe9l_ttEIV05NNxoCIoN3F77k3qIh83huZzA/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-03-22+at+12.55.39+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg208l9aUeE6aHojOUFJXY2mlEoFslQiW3h9W7vtsf0EVtPbswGyzGU2zSiANncuDiiMO2rSR1pXYqAPSO2u9_vlasybmqrHPYSW7B5Nq9HFe9l_ttEIV05NNxoCIoN3F77k3qIh83huZzA/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-03-22+at+12.55.39+PM.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
This is what blows my mind. Here we have an article that functions as a reinforcement to opposing homophobia, and an INCH below it we have a slide show perpetuating our <em>fascination</em> with famous people being gay. Am I missing something here?<br />
<br />
This HPost writer should put out an article denouncing growing worldwide Islamaphobia with links to the next Homeland episode just to complete the cycle of eating his own shit. Unreal.<br />
<br /></div>
Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-13322134342012694362013-03-21T05:42:00.001-04:002013-03-22T07:45:07.322-04:00Barry goes to Tel Aviv<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As President Obama headed to Israel yesterday, Pentagon Spokesnetwork CNN <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2013/03/20/politics/israel-obama-visit/index.html?hpt=hp_t2">detailed the president's priorities</a>. <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"IRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANIRANmaybe-some-half-assed-peace-talk-bullshit-during-lunch-break"</blockquote>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1EFqYVZAaR_eq-7hhH4i0KCzuzQ8lwWBy9PXPAtUrLDBceVgSvAXn77Ks9NxL9ULXDsDtdAOs4XCh0ti6hKQtdzGaHE_6eB5ra3plonLKuD2AqwHpkFiBN9BINNaQB7SSLv3lLUj0ryzp/s1600/Barack%2520Obama%2520with%2520Benjamin%2520Netanyahu-1775511.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1EFqYVZAaR_eq-7hhH4i0KCzuzQ8lwWBy9PXPAtUrLDBceVgSvAXn77Ks9NxL9ULXDsDtdAOs4XCh0ti6hKQtdzGaHE_6eB5ra3plonLKuD2AqwHpkFiBN9BINNaQB7SSLv3lLUj0ryzp/s1600/Barack%2520Obama%2520with%2520Benjamin%2520Netanyahu-1775511.jpg" ssa="true" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And then I was like, "controlling water supplies and electricity doesn't count as occupation"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Start your engines, folks.<br />
<br />
CNN offers up <a href="http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2013/03/19/cnn-poll-most-say-israel-a-friend/">their poll</a> of American public opinion on Israel. Its findings: "<strong>Most Americans say Israel is a friend"</strong><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmmjIifmPNVeUOqs1bS9pzoDAf8vQDjTYNfNb7ADlDk18wLVff6vvuZtaj4Fo-4S6z0c7AWGy_hmvnEQ0wGGCZ_-ZXtKFPH0ZNA95hH05TaKxI1h8BjzKkXw0w1l-TBvzucy4Vdp1v5Orl/s1600/israelPolledit.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmmjIifmPNVeUOqs1bS9pzoDAf8vQDjTYNfNb7ADlDk18wLVff6vvuZtaj4Fo-4S6z0c7AWGy_hmvnEQ0wGGCZ_-ZXtKFPH0ZNA95hH05TaKxI1h8BjzKkXw0w1l-TBvzucy4Vdp1v5Orl/s1600/israelPolledit.bmp" ssa="true" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Last time I checked<em>, "</em>most" was a quantifier signifying 51% or more, but hey, my semantics professor was probably high that day.<br />
<br />
As you see above, 33% of Americans said that Israel was "friendly, but not an ally." <br />
<br />
<em>In other words brah, yeah Israel is like the US's lab partner in chem class and all... but like... it'd be mad weird if they invited Israel to Bryce's blacklight party tonight you know?</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Fun factoid</strong>: 49% of those polled responded that the US <em>should</em> support Israel if it decides to attack Iran in order to "prevent it from developping nuclear weapons."<br />
<br />
And we're off!<br />
<br />
The question "do you actually think Iran is trying to develop nuclear weapons" shockingly doesn't make an appearance in this poll. It's also interesting that less Americans consider Israel an ally than Americans who'd be totally down for bombing Persians. It's only a 3% margin, but still, what a comic tragedy that there are people who say to themselves "well, I'm on the fence about Israel, but if they start making it rain on Ahmadinejad I AM SO FUCKING IN!"<br />
<br />
Follow American Difter if you think Barry and Bibi watch "Argo" at slumber parties. Extra points if you can name the little spoon.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Update: </strong>CNN <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2013/03/21/politics/obama-mideast-visit/index.html?hpt=hp_t1">reported today</a> on the President's talks with Palestinian President, Mahmoud Abbas. Obama said encouraging things like "The Palestinian people deserve an end to occupation and the daily indignities that come with it," and he said other encouraging things, too. The team at American Difter believes that with every new encouraging thing Obama says, peace will find a way.<br />
<br />
The CNN article concludes with a silver lining: <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
In what Netanyahu called a key development, the leaders announced new talks on extending U.S. military assistance to Israel for another 10 years past the current agreement that expires in 2017.</blockquote>
Please join American Difter in supporting a settlement to the Israel-Palestine conflict in 2027.</div>
Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-87453299277342604692013-02-14T13:54:00.002-05:002013-02-14T13:55:32.995-05:00Horse of a Difter ColorCNN <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2013/02/14/world/europe/uk-horse-meat-probe/index.html?hpt=hp_t3">reports</a> that France is now probing labeled 'beef' products that may contain horse meat.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-7zlytRUrXB_6JKKSTDnDxjHxjEuiIDfJTt5BylamL9DEZw3Xl_FSNi1qhisV4HdzfAjGGz208ZGwWNTOONVmBWKSvZkejGku-SG0zJxIOiRns9Y0m-pqx1N_RjbQuIomIHUd_sdgsUS-/s1600/url-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-7zlytRUrXB_6JKKSTDnDxjHxjEuiIDfJTt5BylamL9DEZw3Xl_FSNi1qhisV4HdzfAjGGz208ZGwWNTOONVmBWKSvZkejGku-SG0zJxIOiRns9Y0m-pqx1N_RjbQuIomIHUd_sdgsUS-/s400/url-1.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can lead a horse to water but you can't MAKE IT INTO LASAGNA </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Kudos to France for hopping on the beef-testing bullet train <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21455419">2 WEEKS AFTER REST OF EUROPE</a> catches whiff of the equine scuttlebutt.<br />
<br />
Here's the real question: does France care?<br />
<br />
Honestly, when I first heard about this story and noticed that France wasn't on the list of European countries taking the charge in meat testing I was like HELL YEAH KEEP DOING YOU FRANÇOIS!<br />
<br />
I mean this is what the French are great for. If you walked up to some random frenchie chomping down on a steak and said "hey by the way you're eating horse" you know what they'd say?<br />
<br />
Et alors?<br />
<br />
France needs to get its shit together and start being the country of Je m'en fiche again. Sartre would be so disappointed.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0r5UPCM2xsnNJADTg8LYYT7-HC9OTQgjz-8nYKJ1wtY3xo64ZrRtK3U6N8fetIpVkYgGPTPW1mdnLId6OZDoE4QdWZigVHbnZyIYD00u45J2K4wy2TgVJJgz8UfzmjFCafzVrVnaLAGoO/s1600/jean-paul-sartre.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0r5UPCM2xsnNJADTg8LYYT7-HC9OTQgjz-8nYKJ1wtY3xo64ZrRtK3U6N8fetIpVkYgGPTPW1mdnLId6OZDoE4QdWZigVHbnZyIYD00u45J2K4wy2TgVJJgz8UfzmjFCafzVrVnaLAGoO/s400/jean-paul-sartre.jpeg" width="261" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HORSE MEAT LIKE ERRDAY AND LOOK HOW I TURNED OUT!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-53038793264430699052013-02-11T10:57:00.000-05:002013-02-11T11:01:59.166-05:00Ratzinger and Sons FAREWELL TOURUPDATE:<br />
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As readers know, American Difter wrote earlier this year on Pope Benedict XVI's Original Hipster status.<br />
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<a href="http://americandifter.blogspot.fr/2012/12/ratzinger-and-sons.html">http://americandifter.blogspot.fr/2012/12/ratzinger-and-sons.html</a><br />
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Recent <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2013/02/11/world/europe/pope-benedict-resignation/index.html?hpt=hp_t1">news has broke</a> that Benny will indeed now be stepping down from his holy post due to "advanced age."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzQPCFtMnlxif-e10bv3TtHxFFB5LT7_DIk-5rgFjJjLKaKzpLkVhRInUs-FdlJTLw1HqRsnntynypAcnG8cXnANclB81O0YouP1FsW9cfNQCqODfI8yWzKleuzgpjZaqVwr3W3M44WaR/s1600/url.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzQPCFtMnlxif-e10bv3TtHxFFB5LT7_DIk-5rgFjJjLKaKzpLkVhRInUs-FdlJTLw1HqRsnntynypAcnG8cXnANclB81O0YouP1FsW9cfNQCqODfI8yWzKleuzgpjZaqVwr3W3M44WaR/s400/url.jpeg" width="302" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can someone tell me where I put that Eucharist?</td></tr>
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To all you nonbelievers out there, what more proof do you need? The first Pope to step down in 600 years? COME ON! This guy is so ahead of the curve that the designers at American Apparel won't even have a Papal V-Neck designed until Easter.<br />
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<br />Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-15297691240261016552013-01-29T07:33:00.001-05:002013-01-29T08:59:16.667-05:00Iranians in SPACEPentagon spokesnetwork CNN recently broke the <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2013/01/29/world/meast/iran-monkey-launch/index.html?hpt=hp_t3">terrifying report</a> of a successful Iranian rocket launch into space. The lone <strike>passenger</strike> victim: a monkey.<br />
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This is perhaps the most disturbing story American Difter has discussed all year. We <em>know</em> that Iran presents an existential threat to Israel and by extension the United States, but never have we seen such audacity in the name of violent anti-western jihad.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZI5Oc5_omeiIqIVeAEyqV7F1uGiDFhUwsqqD_1mkZpqZWxcyrrFWFTcDRUpPZqs_SC7cEoMoByKDo8d5gO8aO1mRR5JuL1MvRZmMd3RV-bkE3fCPczGUaCKBR7qgelAskBRqWj9OR3os7/s1600/abc_iran_space_monkey_ll_130128_wg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ea="true" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZI5Oc5_omeiIqIVeAEyqV7F1uGiDFhUwsqqD_1mkZpqZWxcyrrFWFTcDRUpPZqs_SC7cEoMoByKDo8d5gO8aO1mRR5JuL1MvRZmMd3RV-bkE3fCPczGUaCKBR7qgelAskBRqWj9OR3os7/s1600/abc_iran_space_monkey_ll_130128_wg.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Iranian Hostage Crisis Revisited?</td></tr>
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Jihad is of course the Arabic word for "death to Big Mac."<br />
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(<strong>update</strong>: sources have reported that Iranians in fact speak a terrorist code language called "Farsi," the team at AD finds this even more suspect)<br />
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This aggression will not stand. Firstly, we cannot as a free nation tolerate such blatant acts of war. Furthermore, we <em>must </em>not passively bear witness to such atrocities committed towards animals. <br />
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The US, Israel, and the EU have so far stood alone in the fight towards unfettered Iranian armament, but perhaps this precursor to war has a silver lining. <br />
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In the constant search for the allies of freedom,<a href="http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4338308,00.html"> PETA has emerged</a> as a new buttress to counter the Iranian threat.<br />
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In an official statement, PETA announced that it was:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
appalled by photos of a visibly terrified monkey crudely strapped into a restraint device in which he was allegedly launched into space by the Iranian Space Agency</blockquote>
The activist group further added: "Iran wants the bomb. Iran needs the bomb. We must bomb Iran before they bomb us back."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKPHS8i5tvI1w1_nJodGsSKuzB5J7arMa3VnHQVxVsmHwgb1LbhtZc0dxzTEyFQMGxBff4GNOTwMN7EnTBx7V4SnD3S6Kmg_FIKC3suzjwr85iv-iF_AXqmTnP7dfcQe8MlHcIu7O8iSmy/s1600/6a00d83451b71f69e2015433105872970c-800wi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKPHS8i5tvI1w1_nJodGsSKuzB5J7arMa3VnHQVxVsmHwgb1LbhtZc0dxzTEyFQMGxBff4GNOTwMN7EnTBx7V4SnD3S6Kmg_FIKC3suzjwr85iv-iF_AXqmTnP7dfcQe8MlHcIu7O8iSmy/s1600/6a00d83451b71f69e2015433105872970c-800wi.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Popular Enemies of Tehran All-the-time-YOLO</td></tr>
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This is a triumphant blow to delusional peace-loving pinko leftist commentators who <a href="http://www.juancole.com/2012/09/top-myths-about-irans-nuclear-enrichment-program.html">claim</a> that Iranian nuclear enrichment is nonviolent. SUCK ON THAT JUAN COLE!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgmeizSMhWl8ZTevbrIb5GMtLCNEp4eGlPhp_BNisxc0NrXdZsEOdLzwJdu2FC1RvkiJIBoSIPbgGvqfjYuuIBg1hfMZLXu0OVr2L7yrQF828jaB6x7-867TZhr5l3Pixd7N6A5l7K3XcY/s1600/01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ea="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgmeizSMhWl8ZTevbrIb5GMtLCNEp4eGlPhp_BNisxc0NrXdZsEOdLzwJdu2FC1RvkiJIBoSIPbgGvqfjYuuIBg1hfMZLXu0OVr2L7yrQF828jaB6x7-867TZhr5l3Pixd7N6A5l7K3XcY/s1600/01.jpg" width="201" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Terrorist Apologist</td></tr>
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Thank God for CNN, boldly connecting the dots in the name of journalism. Here is a quote from U.S. State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland featured in the CNN article:<br />
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...our concerns with Iran's development of space launch vehicle technologies are obviously well-known: Any space launch vehicle capable of placing an object in orbit is directly relevant to the development of long-range ballistic missiles.</blockquote>
Right on Vicky, let's call a spade a spade. If Iran can send a monkey into space, what's to stop them from freighting a troop of silverback gorillas to Tel Aviv or FedExing a colony of howler monkeys to Manhattan? <br />
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The answer is American vigilance.<br />
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We must never waver in the face of terror, and we must never succumb to the psychological fear so vehemently perpetuated by <strike>the media</strike> Iran. Where is Ben Affleck when you need him?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPYkQz5YK6ZT0ovwzGPhse8B38fbojy7v4zMQgyY38hvtInG-Lf95Co9_LJfNW2JiFuaKCKtUU4CIMYAULLatEy_oXMXL3pLLsgFf7uclOztlwvRUacgFPgNm7a6H4jJy1Iz9hdfoJ9Tag/s1600/Ben-Affleck-Argo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ea="true" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPYkQz5YK6ZT0ovwzGPhse8B38fbojy7v4zMQgyY38hvtInG-Lf95Co9_LJfNW2JiFuaKCKtUU4CIMYAULLatEy_oXMXL3pLLsgFf7uclOztlwvRUacgFPgNm7a6H4jJy1Iz9hdfoJ9Tag/s1600/Ben-Affleck-Argo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Intrepid crusader against preconceptions of peaceful Persians</td></tr>
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Please join American Difter, PETA, and Ben Affleck in the fight against Iranian primatological aggression.<br />
<br />Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-43969425297944029622013-01-26T10:04:00.000-05:002013-01-26T10:04:08.783-05:00Saturdift Morning Lightning Round III<div>
<b>1.) </b><span style="font-family: inherit;">CNN recently <a href="http://security.blogs.cnn.com/2013/01/25/more-signs-al-qaeda-in-mali-orchestrated-algeria-attack/?hpt=hp_t3">reported</a> that terrorist attacks in Algeria may have been orchestrated by Al Qaeda in Mali. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.984375px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">One senior U.S. official said 'elements of AQIM' may have carried out the offensive in tandem with fighters loyal to Moktar Belmoktar, a veteran militant based in northern Mali who has claimed responsibility for the assault.</span></span></blockquote>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8nJ5Oykn161NCcOOc7tGjJc6mQLH7n9yLgaq2HUvuklaHq5c1YzAOJEAXhUovJeIngEkkYWijto3cHTU2ysPLowZfHOD8xcETNodmlqoE02BFYSv1qMMVFQuNhobhqBlIvCRBf4T5_iRC/s1600/1-RTR3CRP8.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8nJ5Oykn161NCcOOc7tGjJc6mQLH7n9yLgaq2HUvuklaHq5c1YzAOJEAXhUovJeIngEkkYWijto3cHTU2ysPLowZfHOD8xcETNodmlqoE02BFYSv1qMMVFQuNhobhqBlIvCRBf4T5_iRC/s400/1-RTR3CRP8.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dude I swear I'm facebook friends with Bin Laden</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Elements of AQIM."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Honestly this is ridiculous. Every time we hear about another terrorist attack it's "ohhh must be Al Qaeda. </span>They're the terrorists who know how to tweet right?" </div>
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Does Al Qaeda even exist? </div>
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I mean seriously, it's the same idea with the Anonymous hackers. How many times do you hear on the news "Anonymous claims responsibility for computer system hack" or "yet another internet infiltration by Anonymous." </div>
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Even if you find the comparison outlandish, the two groups don't seem very different in how they try to stay relevant. Hacktivist groups like Anonymous or terrorist organizations like Al Qaeda just seem like fear-fueling opportunists. Take the recent case in Algeria: a terrorist group attacks a natural gas plant, takes hostages, and Al Qaeda says "Alger-what....? I mean... yeah we did that... Allah ho akbar." </div>
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Pure poppycock. We need to stop talking like these guys get together every year at the Four Seasons for a conference with cold cuts and free pens to talk about up and coming terrorist real estate. Let's at least understand that as long as we think that way, "Al Qaeda" is never going to "be defeated."<br />
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<b>2.)</b> Microsoft's recent Internet Explorer "child of the 90's"commercial attempted to strum the heartstrings of 20-somethings, invoking images of bowl cuts, pogs, and light-up shoes.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/qkM6RJf15cg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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I'll be honest, the only thing this commercial said to me was "hey look at all the shit you made your parents buy for you... hey wait a minute, not much has changed, asshole!"<br />
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So thanks, Internet Explorer, for confirming that I'm still a materialist.<br />
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And by the way, does anyone think this video will actually <i>help</i> Internet Explorer's popularity? If anything I feel like they erred big time here. You'll see the "e" logo at the end and think "oh yeah, I used that shitty browser when I had Napster" and then open a new Chrome window. Swing and a miss.<br />
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<b>3.)</b> The Huffington Post, reporting on stuff that people already reported on, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/23/gregory-matthew-bruni-naked-poop-masturbate-florida_n_2533967.html">broke the story</a> of Gregory Matthew Bruni, who allegedly broke into a Florida home naked, pooped, and masturbated before being arrested.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTMdcrn6soC-MCRAd1YahyphenhyphenXPXLN-XGFfO8qHniL05t4cabYmVzhyphenhyphen0iGyYWAmeoc5rwnSpgxl06K8KE7UHSPxe6-IeUHDgHA_BVBiEPVoiqYUxA-ktxtdw-Kl7XQAu1AqwDqyHqFmwDqkn9/s1600/s-GREGORY-MATTHEW-BRUNI-NAKED-POOPING-MASTURBATE-large.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTMdcrn6soC-MCRAd1YahyphenhyphenXPXLN-XGFfO8qHniL05t4cabYmVzhyphenhyphen0iGyYWAmeoc5rwnSpgxl06K8KE7UHSPxe6-IeUHDgHA_BVBiEPVoiqYUxA-ktxtdw-Kl7XQAu1AqwDqyHqFmwDqkn9/s320/s-GREGORY-MATTHEW-BRUNI-NAKED-POOPING-MASTURBATE-large.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bruni in pre-poop contemplation</td></tr>
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The only t<span style="font-family: inherit;">hing I found odd about this story was that the NRA hasn't capitalized on it yet:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Lands say Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor. Around this time, LaDonna grabbed a gun and began firing at the nude intruder.</span></span></blockquote>
Hell yeah LaDonna! Now get to the phone and hit up Wayne LaPierre for some serious endorsement money. If the NRA wants to make their case against gun control, <i>this </i>is the story they want.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqKgDxOCG2kyDSgI4adnIH4iEmo2U9TUajQrSKh6i7zPk3lCFpXbJKC6cPbnbwoxl6EwNyqO3XkyZe_zTRwZBIyHZevEtQD7_BWrqHzz_z97E_ixM_QcPxnhSSFrrbxUQnTt6PmI-ekdtC/s1600/url-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqKgDxOCG2kyDSgI4adnIH4iEmo2U9TUajQrSKh6i7zPk3lCFpXbJKC6cPbnbwoxl6EwNyqO3XkyZe_zTRwZBIyHZevEtQD7_BWrqHzz_z97E_ixM_QcPxnhSSFrrbxUQnTt6PmI-ekdtC/s400/url-2.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WE HAVE A <b>RIGHT</b> TO DEFEND OURSELVES FROM POOPY AND ICKY TOUCH-TOUCH!</td></tr>
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Furthermore, I'm almost positive that Bruni is actually the guy from scrubs:<br />
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Have a nice Saturdift.</div>
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<br />Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-3765997858652963492013-01-23T10:12:00.002-05:002013-01-23T10:14:02.089-05:00Miss Independent Goes to Washington <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hundreds of thousands of Americans gathered at the Washington Mall Monday afternoon for a declaration of renewed effort, for a continuation of hope and change, for the promise of a better future. That event, as so many progressives and conservatives alike will forever remember, was Kelly Clarkson's comeback at the 57th presidential inauguration.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8q5r-saPW5a-v3KyxI5p8PwjI28TdkHXRlUDUD_3E4IU3PJn7bQBaIH8tSMgymHtAqbik5Ry4hVszxvZNaQBt9ABjrm-075O2wyiWwe5IeUGEcsfa5nrX8ZK3RXpnsTK19BjI0DP4ifWb/s1600/LZPhf8A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8q5r-saPW5a-v3KyxI5p8PwjI28TdkHXRlUDUD_3E4IU3PJn7bQBaIH8tSMgymHtAqbik5Ry4hVszxvZNaQBt9ABjrm-075O2wyiWwe5IeUGEcsfa5nrX8ZK3RXpnsTK19BjI0DP4ifWb/s400/LZPhf8A.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bill loves a good comeback</td></tr>
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Clarkson speedily rose to stardom when she became the first white woman to win American Idol. Though what happened next is a poignant tale.<br />
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Clarkson's early single "Miss Independent" seemed to break traditional pop party lines, eschewing partisan rhetoric in hopes of reforming an already polarized musical genre. Her energy invigorated the youth of the nation, her charm captivated the elderly, and her image as a pop-music outsider had the whole world watching with anticipation.<br />
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But the music faded; during her first term as a pop icon, the mainstream media observed that Clarkson was compromising her unique sound for a more adult-contemporary pop over a cutting-edge bieberesque. Recent singles such as "Stronger" indicate that Clarkson is still trying to hold on to her once commendable idealism, but her message has been lost in the crowd.<br />
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Here at American Difter, the search for truth never ceases, and our research contests that Clarkson acquiesced to <em>neither</em> camp, but instead embodied servitude to the major record labels.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoTPhIBqJCjTZbMdUkqx-n37uvKvzqmP2Stq9wse6MqqC1zvZDT1Dn3pP5LnVAZ07RyJ8EX7eCIxlq7phtP9RlkLNm9JUOt5MHZ-qKlLs1OMEdRrKUZYzdCFnrYKY1V8DHnBdZigxnEiS1/s1600/kelly-camry-300x168.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoTPhIBqJCjTZbMdUkqx-n37uvKvzqmP2Stq9wse6MqqC1zvZDT1Dn3pP5LnVAZ07RyJ8EX7eCIxlq7phtP9RlkLNm9JUOt5MHZ-qKlLs1OMEdRrKUZYzdCFnrYKY1V8DHnBdZigxnEiS1/s400/kelly-camry-300x168.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't expect changes in Camry emission standards anytime soon</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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But as we saw yesterday at the inauguration, Clarkson appears reinvigorated for a second term in pop's most powerful position. As she belted out "My Country, 'Tis of Thee," viewers across the nation were hoping to see a preview of recharged loyalty to the progressive ideas she championed in the past.<br />
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We here at AD predict that these hopes will fall flat. So many times we've seen American Idols fall back into mundanity. Rubben Studdard, Carrie Underwood, Adam Lambert, and even Clay Aiken couldn't escape the realities of actually <i>becoming</i> American Idol finalists, no matter what promises were made in their respective campaigns. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTf9o8CIkWwAJHfGN5CG4vqSuTDM1ak1fQXnqQKbO66dElubaMV-bYYcKp51QYNNTQxF4lt_U5NWazHUhcCadsNCC41YDy56kmbk24RaxuHdAF8tqZtZhPyI2H0gxor8RNFMvWRW6SeH_S/s1600/clay-aiken-blond-moment-04.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTf9o8CIkWwAJHfGN5CG4vqSuTDM1ak1fQXnqQKbO66dElubaMV-bYYcKp51QYNNTQxF4lt_U5NWazHUhcCadsNCC41YDy56kmbk24RaxuHdAF8tqZtZhPyI2H0gxor8RNFMvWRW6SeH_S/s320/clay-aiken-blond-moment-04.jpeg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Physical changes are symptomatic of the pressure the office holds</td></tr>
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The Editors at American Difter propose a solution, albeit not a silver bullet, to how we elect our American Idols. We must adopt a "one vote per caller" policy. Without such a policy in place, special interests, far more capable of outweighing the individual voter, will flood the phonelines ensuring that <em>their</em> candidate will emerge victorious, with the occasional exception:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhni8cauN2TISxMGtQZBQPDrniTdobGZzUWwAClvJR4MqQc-A972csvS9Kkp1U4Pt14QpReqnSNYO9toxLCBK1JRfi4GGbBcLXXhsz9n1TPKfUiuXfMdRgJ9RqrTqGaCgsZBxnYoZ09Up3L/s1600/TH_Yahoogallery.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhni8cauN2TISxMGtQZBQPDrniTdobGZzUWwAClvJR4MqQc-A972csvS9Kkp1U4Pt14QpReqnSNYO9toxLCBK1JRfi4GGbBcLXXhsz9n1TPKfUiuXfMdRgJ9RqrTqGaCgsZBxnYoZ09Up3L/s320/TH_Yahoogallery.jpeg" width="261" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ralph Nader of the Idol World</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Special interests, at minimum, should be wholly barred from political activity, for their ubiquitious presence in the American Idol election process only guaruntees that<em> their</em> needs will be met. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX5jSTiy2j-pzT3DWm8BDreOINhbNojQdCXpVZc2NUF1dpzEccfLVZnUIXUsXwgc9VONdBwsHcaXQgm2GRGLMhFoVKQIdVS6pgpJAl9kvkaGHq7LjhusJ_6CowsW3Dikss2Nj_bXsjE90j/s1600/RyanSeacrestspikedhairstyle.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX5jSTiy2j-pzT3DWm8BDreOINhbNojQdCXpVZc2NUF1dpzEccfLVZnUIXUsXwgc9VONdBwsHcaXQgm2GRGLMhFoVKQIdVS6pgpJAl9kvkaGHq7LjhusJ_6CowsW3Dikss2Nj_bXsjE90j/s320/RyanSeacrestspikedhairstyle.jpeg" width="232" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Devil uses product (and yes that's a real website).</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The team at American Difter urges your support for serious American Idol election reform. Without it, our nation will be forever trapped in a corporate loophole, headed towards the status quo: recycled pop garbage.<br />
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<br />Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-79572269093112274252013-01-05T05:44:00.001-05:002013-01-05T05:44:55.746-05:00Saturdift Morning Lightning Round II<br />
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<b>1.) </b>French film icon Gérard Depardieu has been all over the news recently as he <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2013/jan/04/gerard-depardieu-club-russian-citizens?intcmp=239">attempts to flee to Russia</a> in order to avoid France's upcoming tax hike of 75% on the country's wealthiest citizens.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcsCCNx3cKjEut0cf_uvaQB8NlgKU8Mlzfc3CxanX5ggIDFj0XtnFguNVkbVgoayHDlSIk4cYEHxYz-dHWOc1_wNFrb51VTNNSQDPCn8stxK7ywRq6y59oNF3WUhLo4AI1sUE9uKTzKubZ/s1600/Gerard-Depardieu-009.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcsCCNx3cKjEut0cf_uvaQB8NlgKU8Mlzfc3CxanX5ggIDFj0XtnFguNVkbVgoayHDlSIk4cYEHxYz-dHWOc1_wNFrb51VTNNSQDPCn8stxK7ywRq6y59oNF3WUhLo4AI1sUE9uKTzKubZ/s320/Gerard-Depardieu-009.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">I'm sorry but this dude's gonna fit right in</td></tr>
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<br />
The Guardian further reports that Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov is ready to welcome Depardieu to Chechnya if he so desires.<br />
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At first I thought this was a pretty cowardly move on Depardieu's part, but after reading up on Russia's 13% tax rate and Chechnya's booming real estate market, things started to make more sense.<br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6-ymjCTuspXprxqYSVuMsJL3LVzKrzUdM0QxCuc0ovmdkUcz9HqDVk-WAbNCJtishkOj89vFnFl74OAeefpZRcGpGsKyssuBP9RvLH1reJ1sCuqzaD0Qfqfat4ajJ4JcluduuhY8ASXh/s1600/russia-chechnya-grozny-war-ru102561.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="325" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6-ymjCTuspXprxqYSVuMsJL3LVzKrzUdM0QxCuc0ovmdkUcz9HqDVk-WAbNCJtishkOj89vFnFl74OAeefpZRcGpGsKyssuBP9RvLH1reJ1sCuqzaD0Qfqfat4ajJ4JcluduuhY8ASXh/s400/russia-chechnya-grozny-war-ru102561.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">"All units come with an in-ground pool of tears"</td></tr>
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Bon voyage, Géry!<br />
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<b>2.)</b> Yesterday, the Huffington post, doing what it does best (reporting on what other sources report), reported that <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/04/chuck-hagel-defense_n_2411434.html">Chuck Hagel is indeed</a> going to soon be nominated by President Obama as the next Secretary of Defense.</div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6l0qo0xZu9vKljRrkbhMK0wfEDThomHpXCevihrMz99DnWFuHkSt06zn0AFI5hIIx_ZN9hFGxN_CrRgCg18yaIYqNTm-jxt_VAbvzzfRwl7P8ihQTjHffsWShvPpSs0NHLv64mRub6xp3/s1600/Screen-Shot-2012-12-19-at-4.23.18-PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6l0qo0xZu9vKljRrkbhMK0wfEDThomHpXCevihrMz99DnWFuHkSt06zn0AFI5hIIx_ZN9hFGxN_CrRgCg18yaIYqNTm-jxt_VAbvzzfRwl7P8ihQTjHffsWShvPpSs0NHLv64mRub6xp3/s1600/Screen-Shot-2012-12-19-at-4.23.18-PM.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Courtesy of North Platte, Nebraska </td></tr>
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For those not informed on the Hagel controversy, the most important thing you should know about Senator Chuck is that <strike><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/dec/31/chuck-hagel-big-problem-realist-iran">he has in the past offered some pragmatic perspectives on the defense budget, Israel, and potential talks with Iran and is poised to</a></strike> <span style="font-size: large;">HE'S A GODDAMNED ANTI-SEMITE AND HOMOPHOBE!!! FOR SHAME HAGEL!!! FOR SHAAAAAME!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>3.)</b> <a href="http://www.redorbit.com/news/space/1112641006/ufo-lying-on-the-bottom-of-the-baltic-sea/">RedOrbit.com recently reported</a> that Swedish sea explorers have discovered an unidentified object at the bottom of the Baltic Sea. The article observes that the unidentified object closely resembles the Millenium Falcon from Star Wars. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Furthermore, a member of the expedition team, Peter Lindberg, claims that "</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">the Americans and Japanese 'are much more excited' about the discovery than the local Swedish people."</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiI3rzyq_deldhcWmqt7GI0JJFxyjICjB8qF2ONtc55L4SKDAHrsn9hJ5kxXiBFQhgLZ0PSVk0QdmOHJ0Pv8IAtOFwqAXdB81klaLOGXzxcCY4TqZKwr69_qaCgEz4btbNMFjVyPbXgxhL/s1600/article-2160297-13A47DBA000005DC-930_964x513.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiI3rzyq_deldhcWmqt7GI0JJFxyjICjB8qF2ONtc55L4SKDAHrsn9hJ5kxXiBFQhgLZ0PSVk0QdmOHJ0Pv8IAtOFwqAXdB81klaLOGXzxcCY4TqZKwr69_qaCgEz4btbNMFjVyPbXgxhL/s400/article-2160297-13A47DBA000005DC-930_964x513.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Advanced imaging technology demonstrates that analysts are sexually repressed</td></tr>
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Firstly, <i>of course</i> Americans and Japanese are more excited about this finding. Just how Star Wars offended viewers with the ethnically suggestive Jar Jar Binks and Watto, Swedish people <i>still</i> have not gotten over their presumed portrayal in the original trilogy:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/TQIwEZlOzp4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<b>Note:</b> If you want to verify, follow this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoPyQYUE4iA&playnext=1&list=PLA6FD0CED101F99DC">link to a video of actual Swedish</a>. </div>
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Secondly, DID NO ONE SEE TRANSFORMERS 2??? <i>Clearly</i> the Swedes are trying to conjure up Megatron so they can finally <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/21/julian-assange-sweden-death-penalty_n_1817859.html">get their hands on Julian Assange</a>.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga5wj-hQP6D2MRs799y7Yq5_O_PELnDiq9dnuiJ5cTCXo433vMgBA-lzEiDl1JYfgsThnbLM52MSSCUYEvZ-gTbZppVYw-JORLb8WJq5oWYGGON__0ZFL6jCJeYIpQHAGGr9L6Ma04hubH/s1600/800px-ROTFMegatronRising.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga5wj-hQP6D2MRs799y7Yq5_O_PELnDiq9dnuiJ5cTCXo433vMgBA-lzEiDl1JYfgsThnbLM52MSSCUYEvZ-gTbZppVYw-JORLb8WJq5oWYGGON__0ZFL6jCJeYIpQHAGGr9L6Ma04hubH/s320/800px-ROTFMegatronRising.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">YOU'RE MINE, ASSANGE!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4242dpBeDJVMagEXsQ5Q6cd72URpK3DXNpIfCf1lE327Om6ld7PLiDh-tmLa2PXGJG2u3vlyjGJYkcZUAd9yEwEVcEfarenjsbjb8t9gVVugWEbMt2uHWTv71TR0u7q5MvJn0vHdJRjkT/s1600/julian-assange.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4242dpBeDJVMagEXsQ5Q6cd72URpK3DXNpIfCf1lE327Om6ld7PLiDh-tmLa2PXGJG2u3vlyjGJYkcZUAd9yEwEVcEfarenjsbjb8t9gVVugWEbMt2uHWTv71TR0u7q5MvJn0vHdJRjkT/s320/julian-assange.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oy mate, let's not bay too agressive theyah!</td></tr>
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Have a nice Saturdift.</div>
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Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-86387984232102087692012-12-30T07:29:00.002-05:002012-12-30T07:29:51.063-05:00Ratzinger and Sons<span style="font-family: inherit;">In the spirit of Christmas, the data collection team here at American Difter (my right hand) has been researching all things Catholic. We've turned out some extensive findings on Pope Benedict XVI.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLZWRwZjAMrE71I1k2F5c5DME_0Q8WkBlSWwPi835n4n0ehndYe-vUPFMtec7Me5BC8lizcgo2QkW6dQd4RVfIFh6ztwpy_n7qXbT7e1-ObqdcMIZ68VE6RkkxsiU7N5x4kWE6eFkMDtGk/s1600/index_benxvi.jpeg" imageanchor="1"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLZWRwZjAMrE71I1k2F5c5DME_0Q8WkBlSWwPi835n4n0ehndYe-vUPFMtec7Me5BC8lizcgo2QkW6dQd4RVfIFh6ztwpy_n7qXbT7e1-ObqdcMIZ68VE6RkkxsiU7N5x4kWE6eFkMDtGk/s400/index_benxvi.jpeg" width="280" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some people claim him to be the anti-Christ</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Longshot...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Others call him just an "ok" Pope. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Closer...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">After careful review, background checks, source verifications, difters, etc., there's only one reasonable conclusion:</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Pope Benedict XVI <i>is</i> the Original Hipster.</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I've had my suspicions in the past concerning the Pope's hipster status, but a few things have recently come to light that confirms the claim without a doubt:</span><br />
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<b>Exhibit A:</b> Tweetin' like his shit don't stink</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
That's right, Benedict is now on the popular social networking site. According to the <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/dec/12/pope-tweets">Guardian</a>, the event of the Pope's first tweet was quite ceremonious:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">. . . the pope, dressed in white, sat on an ornamental throne at the front of the Audience Hall. A large crowd, gathered specially to witness the event, stood in expectant silence. . .</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And with his first tweet ever, it was clear that the Pope did not want to disappoint: </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">Dear friends, I am pleased to get in touch with you through Twitter. Thank you for your generous response. I bless all of you from my heart.</span></blockquote>
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A couple things here. First off, who starts a Twitter account six years after the site's launch and acts like he's fresher than a new pair of Nikes?</span><br />
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Second, <i>instead</i> of tweeting a picture of the Eucharist he was about to eat (or a mirror shot wearing his Easter robes), he decides to bless us all. So ironic Mumford and Sons could write a shitty song about it. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZedEAWwZ0MLl1DpbCgjjTFTG3tu0y6vRxpgYb7ruqwFwydSIVUtY9Bt4FgU8ExNe5OZ9UepCDDXK8L4B6_sGNhjTaWJPIXTIBdj_z0CDWgjLsphrPi7vgvucXawIVO0h-SEtZgbyTNQ0r/s1600/9650315_Mumford-and-Sons-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZedEAWwZ0MLl1DpbCgjjTFTG3tu0y6vRxpgYb7ruqwFwydSIVUtY9Bt4FgU8ExNe5OZ9UepCDDXK8L4B6_sGNhjTaWJPIXTIBdj_z0CDWgjLsphrPi7vgvucXawIVO0h-SEtZgbyTNQ0r/s320/9650315_Mumford-and-Sons-01.jpeg" width="211" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Ohh Beny Beny, you look so holy with your Pope hat on yeahhh...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Exhibit B:</b> Throwbacks Latin Style</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A little over a month ago, <a href="http://www.boston.com/news/education/2012/11/10/pope-resurrects-latin-with-academy-boost-study/6ELtJY7eLeRJtxIkfpa7jK/story.html">sources indicated</a> that Pope Benedict was attempting to resurrect the dead language by creating a new pontifical academy for Latin studies.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5WZdSmsWx6XdB_KUqc7M7Fx2xmbOdOG9XDeMVd74Rl6ss0OkZxfCqPEkyVLjEQMyJSq9_o5SKeO-iQY3gEvx9oRfOnMzpB7YPEzo8s0FVAuRlwpbA-3OTOitOpbde8w_oC5DG7KgmvfbJ/s1600/120326030020-pope-benedict-latin-america-tour-mexico-horizontal-gallery.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5WZdSmsWx6XdB_KUqc7M7Fx2xmbOdOG9XDeMVd74Rl6ss0OkZxfCqPEkyVLjEQMyJSq9_o5SKeO-iQY3gEvx9oRfOnMzpB7YPEzo8s0FVAuRlwpbA-3OTOitOpbde8w_oC5DG7KgmvfbJ/s400/120326030020-pope-benedict-latin-america-tour-mexico-horizontal-gallery.jpeg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Si vis pacem, para bellum... uhh... enchilada...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm sorry but what's more counter-culture than dead languages? If I were in Benedict's shoes I would've gone for something like Urdu or North Korean, but no, the guy goes all the way, <span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><i>ab antiquo</i>, doesn't give a fuck. </span><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">So retro.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Exhibit C:</b> Giving the LGBT the big NO</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Benedict <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/21/pope-anti-gay-speech_n_2344870.html">came out recently</a> decrying the increasing support for same-sex marriage in western countries. </span><br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkGZcFY8mhjahsAWItmqVjV7BTXL01-in-vcQKtNKJ4GkEyeNaWTa9WV4xyqK3cVn3zOI4AAWl8JD9e0GxjM2Zxj9ZZBZQdjjKU9xyR4mSDEEwXN92MnOWgYFEumVL-b-N32d34aSs1KL6/s1600/Pope-Benedict-XVI-waves--001.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkGZcFY8mhjahsAWItmqVjV7BTXL01-in-vcQKtNKJ4GkEyeNaWTa9WV4xyqK3cVn3zOI4AAWl8JD9e0GxjM2Zxj9ZZBZQdjjKU9xyR4mSDEEwXN92MnOWgYFEumVL-b-N32d34aSs1KL6/s1600/Pope-Benedict-XVI-waves--001.jpeg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Hey everyone, Jesus loves you! Also, stop being gay!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Being pro same-sex marriage is a progressive idea, so it should naturally be associated with hipsterdom. Herein lies the beauty of Benedict's stance. Everyone <i>knows</i> that to be a hipster is to be pro same-sex marriage. But as a hipster, being vehemently <i>against</i> it is ironic, making it even more hipster than before. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Brilliant. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Someone needs to make this guy shift manager at Urban Outfitters.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Exhibit D: </b>Zig Heils just for kicks</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I know this is old news, but if we're talking hipster qualifications, then I've got to mention <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/vaticancityandholysee/5314338/Dont-mention-the-Popes-Hitler-Youth-past-says-the-Vatican.html">Benedict's stint</a> as an "unwilling" member of the Hitler Youth back in Nazi Germany.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdUaX7wS5qG2mxSxNevM6ZhpBicnQ8pNXSIRrcZL6PeEYl8iGYxpfsacDdNghwEPvhdoTFoEVcv6td3mFjISoP__mNx0syb8CMqCgYXY6cI4W6DVYJQOc-TfTM1nvlWtE-wSZIrUhtLMyb/s1600/paven-i-hitlerjugend.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdUaX7wS5qG2mxSxNevM6ZhpBicnQ8pNXSIRrcZL6PeEYl8iGYxpfsacDdNghwEPvhdoTFoEVcv6td3mFjISoP__mNx0syb8CMqCgYXY6cI4W6DVYJQOc-TfTM1nvlWtE-wSZIrUhtLMyb/s320/paven-i-hitlerjugend.jpeg" width="228" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">They better have PBR at the rally...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">First off, that hat could <i>only</i> have been bought after painstaking hours of thrift store shopping.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Second, who's an <i>unwilling</i> member of the Hitler Youth? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I mean come on, just come out and say it: your friends wanted you to join, and you were kind of like "well I was gonna chow down this sauerkraut .... but yeah I guess I could throw up some Heil Hitlers later."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If that's not hipster steeze then I'm the king of Brotopia. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-40133676533813030642012-12-12T05:58:00.003-05:002012-12-12T06:01:43.584-05:00Yoko Ono - nýleg íslensk tilfinning?You all remember Yoko Ono, John Lennon's lady credited for breaking up the Beatles? Well, a new video of her just surfaced on YouTube doing a breath-taking rendition of Katy Perry's "firework."<br />
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In case you're not familiar with Perry's genius, here's the original "firework" music video:</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/QGJuMBdaqIw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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And now Yoko Ono's version of "firework" performed in front of a crowd of about 20:</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/lrJz9Dh5MsM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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I have only two explanations for this video. One is that Ono, realizing her waning stardom, is making one last grab for attention in this heartfelt rendition.</div>
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The only other possibility is that this is her open audition tape for Björk's forthcoming album "dog shit economy."</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp_nHjwgLtVC9wXy6bpK6K9LLDLzFJBJRwm6DJbgtdU-Ly3Z7Wsn_r5I43PC7eUm-HjIYlK-kSDr3V9RXy4hESSi1dSOJt89AHAupSOA9bOrsLhGWWkwzhu8uxIQYlzd-qLr_riq-ZmR8P/s1600/Bjork+McQueen.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp_nHjwgLtVC9wXy6bpK6K9LLDLzFJBJRwm6DJbgtdU-Ly3Z7Wsn_r5I43PC7eUm-HjIYlK-kSDr3V9RXy4hESSi1dSOJt89AHAupSOA9bOrsLhGWWkwzhu8uxIQYlzd-qLr_riq-ZmR8P/s320/Bjork+McQueen.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"All you need is... <span style="font-size: small;">niður með kapitalisma!!!</span>"</td></tr>
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Please comment if you just googled "dog shit economy."</div>
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Have a nice dift.</div>
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Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-52987019292078644942012-12-08T10:24:00.004-05:002012-12-08T10:30:19.257-05:00Saturdift Morning Lightning Round<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>1). </b></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Christina Wilke of the Huffington Post </span><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/07/obama-inauguration-corporate-donations_n_2258231.html" style="font-family: inherit;">reports</a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> that Obama's second </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">inauguration</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> funding committee will permit unfettered corporate donations for the event in January 2013:</span><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In 2008, Obama's inaugural team limited individual contributions to $50,000 per person and barred all corporate contributions. This year, they will impose no limits on either individual or corporate contributions. Contrary to earlier reports that federal law caps inaugural contributions at $250,000, there are no such federal limits, said another PIC spokeswoman.</span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Wilke adds that the inauguration "<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 21px;">will offer no corporate sponsorship opportunities or logo placements in exchange for these donations."</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJrSa0_jfLd76LMjIMZR_0Hyyy6ENRIu3x3R00q2-b9YEFhfor0B83TdHVLrZoocogfGEu06aHXf2aD0cA5bz7fBWOfewqprbrlTN8sNNaJRkdEoxxdf5mwMFsNDRB7B131RUqBDIV0tzM/s1600/obama+inauguration.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJrSa0_jfLd76LMjIMZR_0Hyyy6ENRIu3x3R00q2-b9YEFhfor0B83TdHVLrZoocogfGEu06aHXf2aD0cA5bz7fBWOfewqprbrlTN8sNNaJRkdEoxxdf5mwMFsNDRB7B131RUqBDIV0tzM/s400/obama+inauguration.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption">This hand was brought you by Lubriderm<span style="background-color: white; color: #414141; font-family: arial, verdana; font-size: 11px; text-align: start;">®</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #414141; font-family: Arial; font-size: 8.5pt; vertical-align: super;"> </span>Daily Moisture</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I find this last part hard to believe. It's true that President Obama could potentially exchange these corporate donations for future political favors during his second term, but I would not be surprised if you heard the following for his second swear-in:</span><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully Google the Office Depot of President of the United State Farm Insurance, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Citigroup of the United States, so help me Goldman Sachs.</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><b>2). </b></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">The Telegraph.uk </span><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/9729403/Text-messages-direct-to-your-contact-lens.html" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">recently broke a story</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"> on contact lenses currently under development in Belgium that will project text messages in front of users' eyes.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7mN0xWHBNY3GcofDyYHsQoPuocOKLpXLY9LKYoPlVPDQdOGAE-jSjs5z_VO9o9gWOK_NbNNgrwg_OU98L3ux9jZwQjCGaYwmuyYgCsLM5wCH7QvUc4sYHQ2ltSvpVER_Am_xHix8QrPK7/s1600/9-breakthrough.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7mN0xWHBNY3GcofDyYHsQoPuocOKLpXLY9LKYoPlVPDQdOGAE-jSjs5z_VO9o9gWOK_NbNNgrwg_OU98L3ux9jZwQjCGaYwmuyYgCsLM5wCH7QvUc4sYHQ2ltSvpVER_Am_xHix8QrPK7/s400/9-breakthrough.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The "I didn't see your text" excuse is about to get pile-drived</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">Three Questions:</span><br />
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<li><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">How will this impact current laws on texting while driving?</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">Can we trust Belgians to put things in our eyes?</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">Will these lenses support current sexting technology?</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>3).</b> A new trailer has been released for Oscar-winning director Katheryn Bigelow's <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/video/2012/dec/06/zero-dark-thirty-watch-the-trailer-video">Zero Dark Thirty</a>. The film, which tells the story of Osama Bin-Laden's assassination, is already being lambasted by critics as a political tool for the Obama administration, and many are in an <a href="http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/05/23/king-bin-laden-movie-unprecedented-potentially-dangerous">uproar over the alleged classified documents</a> that Bigelow and her team had access to in the making of the film.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdaC_He7qOmKjjaXy1uY63uNpHrsBRl5p0pno-ttv2T0AUzSaQIFEc2kEZBTocLFS9hCMH2BARaDq-EE_GHzfqe4FHgydPf7sIM1uNJio32cWSh-owcHw-5shGgP-9ryd34lrYfOx31Ix0/s1600/zero_dark_thirty_ver2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdaC_He7qOmKjjaXy1uY63uNpHrsBRl5p0pno-ttv2T0AUzSaQIFEc2kEZBTocLFS9hCMH2BARaDq-EE_GHzfqe4FHgydPf7sIM1uNJio32cWSh-owcHw-5shGgP-9ryd34lrYfOx31Ix0/s400/zero_dark_thirty_ver2.jpeg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" was already taken</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">Now I could rant on and on about the pervasive media-based glorification of political leaders and the military industrial complex, but here at American Difter I'm committed to asking the tough questions that the mainstream media avoids:</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><b>Who is going to play Osama Bin Laden?</b></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">...</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">My money's on one of the following:</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">a. Willem Dafoe</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtkLZYJSHZ8-L6auHEvw3rBv4qyySaNXSqJxAkc7jEeJnYrhVOS0DZLrZ6M4y0lfMMWQrlgmy0nHvJF6KKR8k5ouldzW495UiERl1EhIvugE3zVL0gd-irJprq632sAHYUDtByEDtxzQ89/s1600/william_defoe.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtkLZYJSHZ8-L6auHEvw3rBv4qyySaNXSqJxAkc7jEeJnYrhVOS0DZLrZ6M4y0lfMMWQrlgmy0nHvJF6KKR8k5ouldzW495UiERl1EhIvugE3zVL0gd-irJprq632sAHYUDtByEDtxzQ89/s320/william_defoe.jpeg" width="319" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">... a bit too crazy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">b. Keanu Reeves</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghr-s6tYS6nF7pnGhKzg3hrSkPKg2qeRAEQsrThP6xhv6er70QYQoizZ4Pz8qhOPBD5buoDwPJAbD7QJiFvAT2oygt2p0Pfo50T9CH7IEhiCRsb4NGplHqajX7mKKsJVFmOkd8HK32ohG8/s1600/wenn3129579.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghr-s6tYS6nF7pnGhKzg3hrSkPKg2qeRAEQsrThP6xhv6er70QYQoizZ4Pz8qhOPBD5buoDwPJAbD7QJiFvAT2oygt2p0Pfo50T9CH7IEhiCRsb4NGplHqajX7mKKsJVFmOkd8HK32ohG8/s400/wenn3129579.jpeg" width="316" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">... eh too Messianic </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">c. Z</span></span><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">ach Galifianakis</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIh_PEuyrNbD2c_j_lLRW7GlbisU_uRbfNtE7ykL0wLDQuzxnNvo55fnhhMC3qUhcFAc8IYdZKyagi7Igm2NIyr3K3J6fCpyKnXO0m7PH4tkjTfVWCMNqux14tRIavU5QV75zeEhevfTdV/s1600/dc1a4c96d74145837d088a30197a703d.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIh_PEuyrNbD2c_j_lLRW7GlbisU_uRbfNtE7ykL0wLDQuzxnNvo55fnhhMC3qUhcFAc8IYdZKyagi7Igm2NIyr3K3J6fCpyKnXO0m7PH4tkjTfVWCMNqux14tRIavU5QV75zeEhevfTdV/s320/dc1a4c96d74145837d088a30197a703d.jpeg" width="249" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think we have a winner</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
Have a nice Saturdift.<br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-29854865584684540382012-12-07T11:54:00.000-05:002012-12-07T13:19:30.893-05:00World War Tweet<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.aljazeera.com/news/americas/2012/11/20121124104049698281.html">Al Jazeera reported</a> on November 24th that the evangelical group Christians United for Israel (CUFI) has started an <a href="https://secure2.convio.net/cufi/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&page=UserAction&id=267">online petition</a> to ban the <span id="goog_377301763"></span>twitter account of <a href="https://twitter.com/AlqassamBrigade">Al Qassam Brigades</a>, Hamas’ military wing. CUFI claims, “when it comes to Israel’s military campaign, there is little that we here in America can do to help. But when it comes to this second conflict – the so-called “twitter war” – there is something important we can do.”</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-29CVBmSTdwz8dgYKmjsoGw0zMcwfRPMMkitNzPj-t1z-FsfC7vDVYtN8VyMfHoz-Ez8htiNEJONc71erOOfkogfupVV-7pkFYiipBeB-kD48y1_dMyAtin-qw0FVl9dHutx2tan9KA7g/s1600/Twitter-logo-2012.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-29CVBmSTdwz8dgYKmjsoGw0zMcwfRPMMkitNzPj-t1z-FsfC7vDVYtN8VyMfHoz-Ez8htiNEJONc71erOOfkogfupVV-7pkFYiipBeB-kD48y1_dMyAtin-qw0FVl9dHutx2tan9KA7g/s400/Twitter-logo-2012.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#TerroristSafeHaven</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>
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Tears of American patriotism welled in my eyes as I read this righteous declaration.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s well known that Hamas is a US-declared terrorist organization, and any website that permits publications of terrorist organizations must act swiftly to prevent the onslaught of propaganda. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">@AlQassamBrigades already has roughly 43,000 followers on Twitter. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">43,000</b>. That number should be shocking even to the most under-read on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Yet it's important to understand certain realities. Let’s say that Twitter <i>does</i> decide to eliminate Al Qassam from its website. If this comes to pass, we will only replicate the effects of the War on Terror.<br />
<br />
Consider Afghanistan. The Taliban were known to be harboring Al Qaeda within their borders, and in turn, the US invaded Afghanistan to expel Al Qaeda operatives. Victory seemed imminent, and supporters of the War on Terror were ready to hang up their coats, make their beds, and take a long-overdue freedom nap. Yet as Al-Qaeda cells sprang up in Yemen, Somalia, and other locations, our freedom fighters realized that the mission was far from accomplished.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Thus, I pose a question to the CUFI which so earnestly but misguidedly wishes to eradicate Hamas’ Twitter: </span><b><span lang="EN-US">What is to stop @AlQassamBrigade from wreaking havoc through other social media sites?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br />
<span lang="EN-US">The CUFI is sincere in its pursuit of terrorist operatives on the web, so let's forgive its naïveté regarding the Twitter War. History shows us that when one terrorist target is forcefully eliminated, more operatives rise up to take its place. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><b>Think about it:</b> a direct attack on @AlQassamBrigade would unquestionably spark the emergence of any of the following:</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<ul>
<li><strong>AlQassam.tumblr.com</strong></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>http://www.couchsurfing.org/profile.html?id=99PalestinianRefugees </strong></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>m</b><strong>yspace.com/Al_Qassam_Slow_Jams_From_1967/Music</strong></li>
</ul>
<br />
The list goes on.<br />
<br />
If we allow this censorship to happen, then history <i>will</i> repeat itself.<br />
<br />
But I have a solution.<br />
<br />
There is only one way we can successfully diminish Hamas' terrorizing rhetoric from the public debate <b>and</b> <b>simultaneously</b> give them a medium to voice whatever complaints, musings, and random thoughts they seem so eager to propagate:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhan0kHhGM6VtFqgHi91upa5jfF76JjTNNtCsEwR_8IkkGXd_CXSkpYArcMeRhfWv62_8TTU6QNWljv6Vl7Dy9pdUB1uJ4juGKnc7wi63OT24bNdHLzOcyDNZ8KNxss1IfGGNxcqifuJf0Q/s1600/www%255CC3%255C37%255CC337A6886B0A2E6DE04046D0D40813DD%255Cwatermark.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhan0kHhGM6VtFqgHi91upa5jfF76JjTNNtCsEwR_8IkkGXd_CXSkpYArcMeRhfWv62_8TTU6QNWljv6Vl7Dy9pdUB1uJ4juGKnc7wi63OT24bNdHLzOcyDNZ8KNxss1IfGGNxcqifuJf0Q/s320/www%255CC3%255C37%255CC337A6886B0A2E6DE04046D0D40813DD%255Cwatermark.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
We must create a Hamas Xanga journal.<br />
<br />
If we take on this challenge, perhaps one of the most would-be defining endeavors of the decade, Hamas will immediately feel less oppressed by Western <strike>propa</strike> media, while leaving the Twitter-verse unharmed by its anti-Israeli lies. Because realistically, no one uses Xanga journal anymore.<br />
<br />
Don't tweet away this opportunity for peace.<br />
<br />
#HamasXangaJournal</div>
Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-85783586975890358292012-11-23T10:57:00.001-05:002012-11-23T13:09:19.709-05:00Apathy's Back-- ALRIGHT!Earlier this week in the south of France I came across a "Solidarity with Gaza" rally. I had just missed the "I'd Like to Stay out of It for the Time Being" rally so I figured why not?<br />
<br />
The scene was intense; activists on loudspeakers, Palestinian flags waving, gruesome pictures of dead children, etc. The rally was just about to begin its march to the prefecture when I suddenly felt a wave of fear and anxiety hit me.<br />
<br />
I couldn't explain it in the moment, but it was as though a dark metaphorical cloud of waning liberty and injustice was slowly encroaching on the crowd, an evil ready to feed on the doubts of those practicing free speech and assembly.<br />
<br />
<br />
I slowly turned my head, and BEHELD:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjHaGq7NePZcDVZepNvONJb0ZUZNc3QDmi2RVOHkcZumAB_yaDwnB9NfhWdN7Df438_btQBtCwSB6wPXlY-QyrgX7EGpgroz9ih01yXQKYZCVtQ4Du01J-DBBm49Du-1ZAHw1RXihZ4dX9/s1600/or2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjHaGq7NePZcDVZepNvONJb0ZUZNc3QDmi2RVOHkcZumAB_yaDwnB9NfhWdN7Df438_btQBtCwSB6wPXlY-QyrgX7EGpgroz9ih01yXQKYZCVtQ4Du01J-DBBm49Du-1ZAHw1RXihZ4dX9/s400/or2.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: Google image search: "Freedom Haters"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>The French Young Communist Movement.</b><br />
<br />
<br />
My fear transformed into sheer terror as I witnessed this ruthless band of radicals plotting, sneering, texting as they slowly invaded the the protest.<br />
<br />
Anyone who knows me knows that I am an anti-communist in all respects. The word "communism" alone leaves a bile taste in my mouth, only extinguished by a liter of Coke and a nacho cheese chalupa. Unfortunately, neither of those were readily on hand.<br />
<br />
It sickened me to see the Young Communists infiltrate such a purposeful rally, handing out their propaganda, persuading the well-intentioned activists into relinquishing their personal freedoms. The whole time I watched in agony, unable to combat this caustic tide.<br />
<br />
When I overcame my initial disgust, I did what any aspiring writer would do: ask questions.<br />
<br />
I obviously didn't ask any questions of the Young Communists themselves; I've been well educated on the dangers of the easily transmitted "West Europe Commie Virus." So I rather looked inward than put myself in harm's way. My biggest question of the evening was "why are they here?" Below, I offer some theories.<br />
<br />
As we know, this was a rally concerning the most recently ended Israeli-Palestinian clash (<a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2012/11/23/world/meast/gaza-israel-strike/index.html?hpt=hp_t1" target="_blank">just kidding!</a>). Thus conclusions were not difficult to reach.<br />
<br />
My first theory was that the Young Communists were attending the rally to protest the disproportionate amount of military power between Gaza and Israel (<a href="http://www.economist.com/blogs/pomegranate/2012/11/israel-and-palestinians?fsrc=scn/tw_ec/gaza_abacus" target="_blank">some numbers here</a>). Their likely solution being to collect all rockets from both Israelis and Palestinians and redistribute them equally, so that all men, women, and children on both sides of the conflict were properly armed.<br />
<br />
Another theory was more symbolic; the Young Communists would gather a pool of collective outrage over the events in Gaza and redistribute that outrage equally amongst ardent supporters and apathetic onlookers, thus making everyone in the world slightly, but not really over-interested in the conflict, comparable to a New Kids on the Block reunion tour.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY8YlooE_os7eYz9Rdd9QbWMvl9LfCTCrVseksOpdubAT5C0bCDEoe722x0-qdjWbn9LSm1p9bZYVyw9nuspMdYwtrpf_LRiymBkgpBz8eLH741srLpOgBpfQcQzXqQiETjrO3sceooe4w/s1600/slideshow_1119222_NewKidsOnTheBlock.0604H.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY8YlooE_os7eYz9Rdd9QbWMvl9LfCTCrVseksOpdubAT5C0bCDEoe722x0-qdjWbn9LSm1p9bZYVyw9nuspMdYwtrpf_LRiymBkgpBz8eLH741srLpOgBpfQcQzXqQiETjrO3sceooe4w/s400/slideshow_1119222_NewKidsOnTheBlock.0604H.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joey McIntyre seen left, hating life</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The Young Communists have already succeeded in this respect. After in-depth research and discussions with friends, family, and colleagues, it's evident that another NKOTB reunion tour would fall flat, even with the power of the Backstreet Boys.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOibxs82cZI6FxsxaLjo8eGO1NIN_NSbBK9IUc4cYUTnjIiPKj5ts4Rhz5PzFFCk1ptw0BJhs-pvcSLNFIjPwtwKSBxNiSSg_O5y6AuXdIEHvwtfdCCn9CJJCGJtZuqunsCKvpdtuuw4Yt/s1600/nkotbsb-2-1280x960.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOibxs82cZI6FxsxaLjo8eGO1NIN_NSbBK9IUc4cYUTnjIiPKj5ts4Rhz5PzFFCk1ptw0BJhs-pvcSLNFIjPwtwKSBxNiSSg_O5y6AuXdIEHvwtfdCCn9CJJCGJtZuqunsCKvpdtuuw4Yt/s400/nkotbsb-2-1280x960.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The symbol of worldwide apathy?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Folks, if the combined might planet Earth's greatest boy bands cannot stir the tides of conviction, what hope do we have?<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9dzK0dThnvKM77Q3zxKYl45fhuK8lwEZdSTCTfHBR3Uz19UA92HQ2tQpUhIswskYNSxFDR01nVpcTjS1NpPuKrnDc7AMOzikV4qsdK7xlcjl95sDegZy9d2El8QqUKpw33cvLOY3KUYSS/s1600/tumblr_m8odk5nowE1qcd141o1_400.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9dzK0dThnvKM77Q3zxKYl45fhuK8lwEZdSTCTfHBR3Uz19UA92HQ2tQpUhIswskYNSxFDR01nVpcTjS1NpPuKrnDc7AMOzikV4qsdK7xlcjl95sDegZy9d2El8QqUKpw33cvLOY3KUYSS/s400/tumblr_m8odk5nowE1qcd141o1_400.jpeg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"It's gonna be MAY "</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Help us Jobi-wan Timberlakenobi, you're our only hope.<br />
<br />
<br />
In conclusion, I'll leave you with one more piece of propaganda from the Young Communists' website. If this still leaves you unmotivated to take cause with the world's problems, then the future of mankind will be but a pipe dream.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnJqBr3JG60KLkHAOt5lv2ePd4De3G6VbVXpgFiHZtu9FOm-3dyuxy_EJi5j2PLEpe-14nQPuv0Hxm9ujaPHXIWTw73hhGXT5FtrfMZjOewf7tsmKMq0cMCKOyyyHgedbmgkPCsy8wJSIl/s1600/Toi-aussi-rejoins-la-jeunesse-communistes.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnJqBr3JG60KLkHAOt5lv2ePd4De3G6VbVXpgFiHZtu9FOm-3dyuxy_EJi5j2PLEpe-14nQPuv0Hxm9ujaPHXIWTw73hhGXT5FtrfMZjOewf7tsmKMq0cMCKOyyyHgedbmgkPCsy8wJSIl/s1600/Toi-aussi-rejoins-la-jeunesse-communistes.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Translation: "Come join us in Godless enslavement-- WE BELIEVE IN NOTHING!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Stick to your convictions. It might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie . . .Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-43709876113132700732012-11-16T16:05:00.001-05:002012-11-16T16:05:43.127-05:00Dispatches on the Yuppraeli-Hipsterinian ConflictThe Internet is rife with stories of <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/middle_east/brief-truce-quickly-collapses-as-egypts-pm-visits-gaza/2012/11/16/a10d523a-2fd9-11e2-ac4a-33b8b41fb531_story.html" target="_blank">the most recent clashes between Israel and Gaza</a>. While reading up on the current violence, an alarming inforgaphic popped up on my Facebook feed. See for yourself:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDTW2HyHjDL-xSyRP7OWh_c_mV0ez7kKMfdSuFI03MqC0Mgae4rNeoZ8vcqfALCqsDmo4jqa2C8aefqaId-OjSwT4TRDY9l18fcqJvWj9_k0bm7b1qqme_GdWgnWhG4k-fhN0PEDT0wyE/s1600/IsNy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" rea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDTW2HyHjDL-xSyRP7OWh_c_mV0ez7kKMfdSuFI03MqC0Mgae4rNeoZ8vcqfALCqsDmo4jqa2C8aefqaId-OjSwT4TRDY9l18fcqJvWj9_k0bm7b1qqme_GdWgnWhG4k-fhN0PEDT0wyE/s400/IsNy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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It's no secret that I'm a fan of metaphors, and in this case there is no exception. </div>
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I know what you're thinking: "hey, dipshit, this isn't a metaphor; it's a geographical representation to give Zionist Americans perspective on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict." </div>
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They say ignorance is bliss, but in this case I refuse to have the wool pulled over my eyes.</div>
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As we all know, Manhattan and its surrounding boroughs have been engaging in a tireless and endless struggle against the rising tide of Hipsterdom. Many extreme leftists argue that Hipsterinians have resided in New York City since its inception, and that Hipsterinans abroad have always considered NYC their cultural center. In fact, Hipsterinians in San Francisco, Chicago, Portland, and countless other American cities claim stake in the struggle of Hipsterdom in NYC as the symbol for their global struggle against the mainstream oppressive forces of "Yuppraeli Imperialist Colonizers."</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkoagp04R9-7ofMcdf-qYkls-_Whvb5H3Q6IIiwtZJobEuJGtkK4nRV7Qit4tPZS3c0zhDVpy2h0a1coRK3U9r3RR2X80F3JKIf1bXmHP9p7uv5dCcPRz1SALQlkAzYey1q1XcJ7C0Ec3m/s1600/hipster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" rea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkoagp04R9-7ofMcdf-qYkls-_Whvb5H3Q6IIiwtZJobEuJGtkK4nRV7Qit4tPZS3c0zhDVpy2h0a1coRK3U9r3RR2X80F3JKIf1bXmHP9p7uv5dCcPRz1SALQlkAzYey1q1XcJ7C0Ec3m/s200/hipster.jpg" width="322" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hipster Terrorist or Trendy Freedom Fighter?</td></tr>
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Though Yuppraelis state that the most recent clashes were initiated by the local Hipsterinian governement (which, notably, the U.S. considers a terrorist organization) many Hipsterinian sympathizers claim that the initial attacks were in fact provoked by a "pinpoint bombing" of an American Apparel in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.<br />
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Immediately following the bombing, Hipsterinians could been seen launching baskets of secondhand fake flowers and Feist records in the direction of the Lower East Side. I contacted an anonymous Hipsterinian military leader for comment:<br />
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"The secondhand fake flowers were symbolic of our rejection of Westernized consummation patterns and the unending growth paradigm. . . and Feist is just a sellout bitch. . . besides, my co-op doesn't recycle vinyl. . . so. . . whatever. . ."</blockquote>
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Though they are disproportionally outmatched, it is clear that Hipsterinians are in this fight until the end.<br />
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However, this source's mention of his co-op was an interesting segway in the conversation; some journalists speculate that the current series of Yuppraeli airstrikes were motivated in part by the upcoming elections for the governing board of <i>their</i> co-op. I reached out to an unnamed Yuppraeli official with close ties to current co-op Prime Minister <strike>Benjamin Net</strike>. . . uhh. . . Tad Johnson:<br />
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"With co-op government elections drawing close, it's important that our incumbent co-op Prime Minister show strength against Hipsterinians, proving to his constituants that he will not permit a truce with such passive aggression from the Hipsterinian territories-- also that most of our seedless grapes will be purchased from local sources. . . " </blockquote>
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One can trace the countless acts of aggression and retaliation throughout the past century, though constantly playing the blame game will get us nowhere. I propose a modest solution.<br />
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It is clear that Yuppraelis feel constantly threatened by Hipsterinian passive aggression, and that Hipsterinians feel confined to Williamsburg and the greater Brooklyn borough through intentional Yuppraeli blockades and military presence. In fact, one Hipsterinian compared Williamsburg to "an open-air prison. . . but whatever. . . confinement is like the new cage-free. . . "<br />
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A few things need to happen before a lasting truce can be reached.<br />
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First, it would be a sign of goodwill if Manhattan opened <i>at least</i> 3 or 4 more American Apparels, preferably in the Lower East Side and Soho (because, come on, who goes uptown?). Secondly, the United States should recognize Hipsterinian co-ops as legitimate governing bodies, and pressure Yuppraeli forces to allow them access to the same locally-grown produce that they so intensely covet.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxzR1HTOvwksuwsmrvlO-gjM6FhnYlI8HnyRW3n5sD0Rg1FoTo4uw1L4O4jvOOOpP4LR70vInBcKYW27RZr2qieuAPyBKIXDGbhhZWqjNhMKoJv7dXvKCi0r7BIMx8O4f7wtFDBo0Ek_8l/s1600/american-apparel.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="370" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxzR1HTOvwksuwsmrvlO-gjM6FhnYlI8HnyRW3n5sD0Rg1FoTo4uw1L4O4jvOOOpP4LR70vInBcKYW27RZr2qieuAPyBKIXDGbhhZWqjNhMKoJv7dXvKCi0r7BIMx8O4f7wtFDBo0Ek_8l/s400/american-apparel.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One piece a symbol of peace?</td></tr>
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Finally, it is essential to this peace process that Hipsterinians recognize that Feist <i>isn't</i> a sellout bitch, she's just a Canadian songwriter who made it big and is cashing in, ipod commercials aside.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgidHhlX6AowOU1C-ujoiJbKOaTfZAmWWAOoY-8iZroDzhXds3QgJPtyKKOtRhIpkraQ3N13VIz6A6AmLBZikTv5sdiy5T-bm-vm44VgOXaPh-3sVl13KY57lHyoM-zoS-CeQF9xMkTEfhX/s1600/060908_feist1234.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgidHhlX6AowOU1C-ujoiJbKOaTfZAmWWAOoY-8iZroDzhXds3QgJPtyKKOtRhIpkraQ3N13VIz6A6AmLBZikTv5sdiy5T-bm-vm44VgOXaPh-3sVl13KY57lHyoM-zoS-CeQF9xMkTEfhX/s400/060908_feist1234.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hipsterinians would do well to forget this dark period in Feist's career</td></tr>
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If the U.S. and international community can come together to help these two factions resolve their differences, there is no doubt that everyone can have access to locally-grown seedless grapes and off-color v-necks, which in turn may ultimately bring peace to the 5 boroughs.<br />
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Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-50603139887103496792012-11-09T12:52:00.003-05:002012-11-09T14:42:44.826-05:00Two Birds with One Drone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Today, the Pentagon spokesnetwork CNN broke an alarming report of <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/09/world/meast/iran-fighter-jets/index.html?hpt=hp_t1" target="_blank">an attempted Iranian assault on an unmanned U.S. Air Force drone</a> flying over international waters. The November 1st attack took place when two Iranian Su-25 fighter jets fired shots at the drone as it was conducting surveillance "16 miles off the coast of Iran," according to Pentagon press secretary George Little. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">First off folks, it is essential to analyze the facts of the story. Let's examine Little's report of the drone being "16 miles off the coast . . ." to which he added that "t<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">he recognized limit is 12 nautical miles off the coast, </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">and we never entered the 12-nautical mile limit." For my readers unfamiliar with the Persian Gulf region, I've detailed a map showing the 12-nautical mile limit from Iran seawards:</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrloyOvFlSZ1KVHlcYtqljVNjpVdxEUu9Hv1RBda2ggj4o2_fLdQamgbwc46lp7xKgqhaHzDkIm9to1eqSPYEAT9zuDnRM4HKPmQRSuMp3WwqVVa5JXr7nD7p3VlOU4wsi0WgQlLGgeBpB/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-11-09+at+5.11.43+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="497" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrloyOvFlSZ1KVHlcYtqljVNjpVdxEUu9Hv1RBda2ggj4o2_fLdQamgbwc46lp7xKgqhaHzDkIm9to1eqSPYEAT9zuDnRM4HKPmQRSuMp3WwqVVa5JXr7nD7p3VlOU4wsi0WgQlLGgeBpB/s640/Screen+Shot+2012-11-09+at+5.11.43+PM.png" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Measurements exacted from space between author's thumb and index finger</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What could possibly motivate Iran to attack a U.S. drone that was flying roughly 446.984 Doug Flutie Hail Mary passes off of it's western coast? </span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As an amateur journalist who seeks a backstory for every lead, I did some reconnaissance work of my own on the area in question:</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbIMSrCSwb7hX5xfL4sPKUy_9acxMXJu2b92M5id4AbLi2-JvQfi2bLUQkREU38ZPq95woBgSe9RcvCHXsWM99ztywg3jARiSaHJU0XEX8KipKZNDTYUW8WuOpISDAJl8ff-naNGx_JMZc/s640/Screen+Shot+2012-11-09+at+5.29.55+PM.png" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;" width="640" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If that's not definitive enough, I'm guessing you were a pottery major in college.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">Another point left unsaid by this Pentagon report was the significance of timing on the Iranian military's part. As we all know, November 1st is not only the 66th anniversary of when t</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">he </span>New York Knicks<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"> played against the </span>Toronto Huskies<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"> at the </span>Maple Leaf Gardens<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"> in the first </span>Basketball Association of America<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"> game (the Knicks would win 68–66), but it was the 86th birthday of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betsy_Palmer" target="_blank">Betsy Palmer</a>, the American actress known for her appearances as a panelist on <i>I've Got a Secret. </i></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOQ3xQYRBVN3dfHV4PBat0hy2KFeOgCnlCW_H9NwYIoFcrNj57DVnPlOT66ejjJKwnRxU7AS73Kvn5M8FiMudthox2Myv-CVqMIVYB58ZU8tI5RdZxTfni_cwrgPyf6OeQTAiZO3e4BGq-/s1600/File:Betsy_Palmer_1960.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOQ3xQYRBVN3dfHV4PBat0hy2KFeOgCnlCW_H9NwYIoFcrNj57DVnPlOT66ejjJKwnRxU7AS73Kvn5M8FiMudthox2Myv-CVqMIVYB58ZU8tI5RdZxTfni_cwrgPyf6OeQTAiZO3e4BGq-/s400/File:Betsy_Palmer_1960.jpeg" width="324" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Betsy Palmer in 1960-- stone-cold fox if I might add</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'VE GOT A SECRET? </span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Folks, the stars have aligned, the codes have been broken, the light of knowledge and revelation has disillusioned us to Iran's true purpose: <b>the ethnic cleansing of all U.S. unmanned drones</b>.<b> </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Clearly this genocide against <b>our</b> aerial-robotic compatriots is an affront to <b>our</b> liberty. Yet, as the voice of reason, I must make a humble suggestion based off of months spent as semi-amateur-progressive-internet-based-twenty-something-who-is-too-wiped-out-from-last-night-to-do-extensive-research-yet-thinks-his-voice-actually-counts-on-blogger: we <b>must</b> extend an olive branch out to the Iranians. </span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Some might claim that we must back <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-rt-us-nuclear-iran-iaeabre8a80pw-20121109,0,195459.story" target="_blank">the International Atomic Energy Agency's resumed talks with Iran scheduled for this December</a>; I think that we must recognize the folly in the power of words alone while U.S. drones are innocuously flying in the kind-of-around-but-not-really-that-close-to Iranian airspace. </span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'll explain:</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As is common knowledge, a staggering 78.4% of U.S. drones identify themselves as Christian (23.9% being Catholic drones) while <b>only 4.7% of drones</b> would identify themselves as worshipping another religion (0.6 being Muslim drones, and 0.7 being Unitarian drones). </span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Can no one else see the historical opportunity before us to bridge peace between these divisive nations? </span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Though George Little abstained from comment on the drone-in-question's religious affiliation, it is likely safe to surmise that it was a Christian drone (my money's on Episcopalian). I would extend this premise further by speculating that if it were a Muslim drone flying in the Persian Gulf, the Su-25 fighter jets would <b>not</b> have fired on it. Iran being an Islamic Republic, the act of putting a Muslim drone out in the Persian Gulf might have signaled to the Iranian's: "hey the U.S. isn't so bad, we're just taking pictures brah!"</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Furthermore, this would help ease domestic tensions between Christian and Muslim drones: Muslim drones having more opportunities for career advancement, and Christian drones understanding the perspective-shifting value of working together with Muslim drones. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A concerted effort from the Federal government and the American public to amend this rift will not only make us safer from an Iranian threat; it will quell the rising tide of homegrown drone extremists and help us usher in a new age of drone peace.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span>Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-28894724013509297382012-10-30T07:31:00.003-04:002012-10-30T10:17:16.358-04:00Memory Lane v. Memory HoleRecently I came across something I'd written the night of the election in 2008:<br />
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Obama accepted the victory with grace, and he delivered a fantastic acceptance speech. My favorite part of his speech was his acknowledgement of the lack of honesty in Washington. I'm hoping he can change that. That's the one thing that's affected me the most these past eight years: unapologetic dishonesty. It's damaging to entrust a leader to lead and watch him become absorbed in his own bubble where he unrepentantly bullshits the world. . . We'll see what this senator can actually do; he is very inexperienced, but he has good ideas. With a Democratic majority in both the House and Senate, he has the opportunity to get a lot done. I've got my fingers crossed.</blockquote>
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What a tool.<br />
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I wish I had a time machine so I could go back four years and slap the taste out of that kid's mouth.<br />
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I won't say much more on that today, but I'll leave you with two things.<br />
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First I'd like to remind my readers of the outrage on the left against President Bush that was sparked by his <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/12/17/bush.nsa/" target="_blank">illegal wiretapping program</a> back in 2005.<br />
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I'd like to then direct you to this recent article written by Glenn Greenwald of <i>The Guardian</i> on <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/oct/24/obama-terrorism-kill-list" target="_blank">the state of current information collection under President Obama</a> (you have to admit, <i>disposition matrix</i> sounds pretty badass).<br />
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Though I find both major candidates repugnant, at this point I'd actually <i>prefer</i> Romney winning so that the Left will wake up and remember that scrutiny against injustice doesn't take a timeout when the drapes are blue.<br />
<br />Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-56192330980675056722012-10-28T19:03:00.001-04:002012-10-28T19:24:24.572-04:00Interweb Regurgitation I<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Though my intention in writing <i>American Difter</i> is to post as much original material as possible, sometimes you just need to take a big swig of the Internet and chunder everywhere.<br />
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I've tried countless times to explain to many of my Obamabotic acquaintances the reasons why I won't be voting Democrat this year, and they are numerous. I <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/09/why-i-refuse-to-vote-for-barack-obama/262861/" target="_blank">defer to this article</a> which, much more eloquently than I could, explains my qualms with the President <i>at least </i>on civil liberties. </div>
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Even if you're dead set on voting for Barry this November, which I respect as your right, I dare you to read this article and continue calling me crazy. </div>
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Have a nice Sunday!</div>
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Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-69804786407368768552012-10-25T08:59:00.000-04:002012-10-25T08:59:08.470-04:00The harmful effects of cigarette smoking warning labels<br />
Cigarette smoking is terrible for your health.<br />
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Duh.<br />
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Yet as a freedom-loving American living abroad, I've been shocked by the precautionary graphic images that many tobacco companies are legally required to place on the fronts of their European-sold cigarette packs.<br />
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Is raising awareness for smoking-related health risks meritable?<br />
<br />
Yes.<br />
<br />
Can we be certain that the right message is being communicated to our youth about these risks?<br />
<br />
No.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Exhibit A:</b><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqa288XqrcZ_EJQ5APwjFQzs_YyibyJfR1bBErtXBGYEYoXpjbd3VsP0_zYGhVurL0Y0foGy6sAGS7ONVTRNSjDJ8vXAStCmYpnsIWPDoqIYWaT-aPf9Y8rqqUe8G0mlE1miW1XUH0IqEB/s1600/Photo-paquet-de-cigarettes-Fumer-cr%25C3%25A9e-une-forte-d%25C3%25A9pendance-ne-commencez-pas.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqa288XqrcZ_EJQ5APwjFQzs_YyibyJfR1bBErtXBGYEYoXpjbd3VsP0_zYGhVurL0Y0foGy6sAGS7ONVTRNSjDJ8vXAStCmYpnsIWPDoqIYWaT-aPf9Y8rqqUe8G0mlE1miW1XUH0IqEB/s320/Photo-paquet-de-cigarettes-Fumer-cr%25C3%25A9e-une-forte-d%25C3%25A9pendance-ne-commencez-pas.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Smoking is highly addictive, don't start</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
Ok we get it-- if you start smoking you'll become addicted. Let's take another look at that image:<br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjasI7BeGOVGBgEn-NKUy6_5-giCEKLNs7Q2lx9ezSglv3xqiFe91zezRf1Nwq-b1gXdXrUauH9Tkyok5hbHqL5ruNfVjTZol68jXzY1OO8fjqEr1PldKSabroaA-DiCAUraYOrxU-FtykB/s1600/Photo-paquet-de-cigarettes-Fumer-cr%25C3%25A9e-une-forte-d%25C3%25A9pendance-ne-commencez-pas+copy.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjasI7BeGOVGBgEn-NKUy6_5-giCEKLNs7Q2lx9ezSglv3xqiFe91zezRf1Nwq-b1gXdXrUauH9Tkyok5hbHqL5ruNfVjTZol68jXzY1OO8fjqEr1PldKSabroaA-DiCAUraYOrxU-FtykB/s640/Photo-paquet-de-cigarettes-Fumer-cr%25C3%25A9e-une-forte-d%25C3%25A9pendance-ne-commencez-pas+copy.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<br />
<br />
A SYRINGE? You're trying to get people to stop smoking with an image of a GODDAMNED SYRINGE?<br />
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<br />
Guess what? If I buy a pack of cigarettes that has a picture of a syringe telling me I'll get hooked, I'm <i>NOT</i> thinking about getting addicted to cigarettes. What I <i>AM</i> thinking is: <i>shit, at least I'm NOT giving bj's in a back alley so I can shoot smack. </i><br />
<i><br /></i><i><br /></i><i><br /></i><i><br /></i><i><br /></i><i><br /></i><b>Exhibit B:</b><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghg06WDmbwYgfeHY-tDCV0DvEGQ10r8iOq6Gt5NfkPx0JEIdr2HPX_ueEi4dZgGuE8VZrQYRiCwSX2qP7txooGcuVdcaSZmUZpnfIbc_e0GOsjIor_5hJXpWHRIIfNP4zKPor7zzOGcy6E/s1600/Photo-paquet-de-cigarettes-Fumer-peut-nuire-aux-spermatozo%25C3%25AFdes-et-r%25C3%25A9duit-la-fertilit%25C3%25A9.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghg06WDmbwYgfeHY-tDCV0DvEGQ10r8iOq6Gt5NfkPx0JEIdr2HPX_ueEi4dZgGuE8VZrQYRiCwSX2qP7txooGcuVdcaSZmUZpnfIbc_e0GOsjIor_5hJXpWHRIIfNP4zKPor7zzOGcy6E/s400/Photo-paquet-de-cigarettes-Fumer-peut-nuire-aux-spermatozo%25C3%25AFdes-et-r%25C3%25A9duit-la-fertilit%25C3%25A9.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Smoking can damage the sperm and reduce fertility</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Ok, I've got a couple issues with this one, but here's my number one: let's say I'm 16-year-old François going to the store to buy a pack of cigs. I'm not about to look down at this picture and think <i>mon dieu, my future offspring might be in jeopardy.</i> I'm going to think <i>Hell yeah! I'm not wearin a raincoat tonight!!! </i><br />
<br />
Completely ineffective. You might as well write "Cigarettes: the coolest form of contraception<b> </b>since pulling out."<br />
<br />
<b>Note:</b> although wordreference.com says differently, I'm like 93% sure that <i>spermatozoïdes</i> is not a real word.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
One more thing:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicEXP_y4UJ2sqwEeDck39ntbxRXVIDhK-ShBqSuSdcCtKw6QfQ-f8W83pLTe5TLYlyqaOYZ6iKo_iGqZZE-mLRIxH_sqn-M5WSJ2fBzJNOFrF5ZMCtPgLjmsrVYBM08EE5OoYu4YLWjFn2/s1600/Photo-paquet-de-cigarettes-Fumer-peut-nuire-aux-spermatozo%25C3%25AFdes-et-r%25C3%25A9duit-la-fertilit%25C3%25A9+copy.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicEXP_y4UJ2sqwEeDck39ntbxRXVIDhK-ShBqSuSdcCtKw6QfQ-f8W83pLTe5TLYlyqaOYZ6iKo_iGqZZE-mLRIxH_sqn-M5WSJ2fBzJNOFrF5ZMCtPgLjmsrVYBM08EE5OoYu4YLWjFn2/s400/Photo-paquet-de-cigarettes-Fumer-peut-nuire-aux-spermatozo%25C3%25AFdes-et-r%25C3%25A9duit-la-fertilit%25C3%25A9+copy.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">To quit smoking: [website] or call [#] .15 cents/min<br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br /></blockquote>
</blockquote>
Now let me ask you, who on God's green earth is going to pay <b>15 cents</b> <b>a minute</b> to have some guy on the phone tell them to get off their ass, walk down to the pharmacy, and buy a pack of Nicorette? It's like the anti-smoking lobby is saying "yeah, we know we're half-assing it."<br />
<br />
Unreal.<br />
<br />
<br />
If I want to quit cigarettes I'll give $500 to my best friend and tell him to donate it to the Westboro Baptist Church if I ever light up again.Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-71434296804066173692012-10-23T07:19:00.001-04:002012-10-23T07:21:32.739-04:00Terror on the high seas<span style="font-family: inherit;">One of the most disturbing reports I've read this week comes off the coast of Gaza, where <a href="http://www.khaleejtimes.com/displayarticle.asp?xfile=data/middleeast/2012/October/middleeast_October240.xml&section=middleeast&col=" target="_blank">a small ship of international terrorists was apprehended by Israeli authorities</a> before delivering instruments of war to Palestinians. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtFZ-epfKm97HIj_RmZVWm4HM3hgbEW7oQclCg6yYExGXSKWT6XaVrFoKg35Cx5bQt2fYTXICxB1QQkQYAiE2aSIiJrTcjgHmIHJEYFekL8nn0bH2TaI4mVl7qsmQxQzFPtWIq10kQQs72/s1600/crew-on-estelle.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtFZ-epfKm97HIj_RmZVWm4HM3hgbEW7oQclCg6yYExGXSKWT6XaVrFoKg35Cx5bQt2fYTXICxB1QQkQYAiE2aSIiJrTcjgHmIHJEYFekL8nn0bH2TaI4mVl7qsmQxQzFPtWIq10kQQs72/s1600/crew-on-estelle.jpeg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Terrorists.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
I'm no expert on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but folks, it's times like these when I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that it's not only the United States of America fighting the War on Terror.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">Mikael Löfgren, t</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">he media coordinator for the ship, <i>Estelle, </i>began <a href="http://www.aljazeera.com/news/middleeast/2012/10/201210209159283186.html" target="_blank">lying through his teeth on the Al-Jazeera news network</a>, claiming that the cargo consisted of:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> "...<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"> footballs and cement and musical instruments and children's books..."</span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
he added:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">"and we have visited like 20 ports around Europe. And in every port we have been ... very op</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">en to the public and to the media and to the authorities to come and inspect our cargo."</span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Ok, here's my first issue: </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">When</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"> Löfgren</span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"> says "footballs," he is clearly NOT referring to the conical pigskins you toss around in the backyard. Grounds for suspicion? </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Yes.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Second issue:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"> Löfgren claims that the <i>Estelle</i> had visited roughly 20 European ports before attempting to reach Gaza, all of which were allowed to inspect the cargo.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">20 European ports.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><b>20</b>. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">Folks, this is the most disturbing fact of the entire story. Not only did this terrorist plot come so close to fruition, but the ENTIRE EUROPEAN UNION aided and abetted it!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">I'm reminded of my favorite quote on terrorism:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">"Our war on terror begins with Al Qaeda, but it does not end there. It will not end until every terrorist group of global reach has been found, stopped, and defeated."</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"> </span></span> </blockquote>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">- George W. Bush</span></span></blockquote>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">If only President Bush knew the clairvoyance with which he spoke over a decade ago.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">If anyone needs to contact me, I'll be seeking </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">asylum</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"> at the American consulate in Paris.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b>Note:</b> One of the terrorists in question was in fact an Israeli citizen. Read his declaration of war </span><a href="http://shiptogaza.se/en/news/israeli-activists-give-their-version" style="line-height: 18px;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773244320439300918.post-50931371716642496702012-10-21T10:19:00.000-04:002012-10-21T18:47:24.968-04:00Praying for a November miracleAfter careful consideration and months of internal conflict, I have finally come to a decision for this year's presidential election:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPmsfF-uNjPDemO9QKNEsYNoL7wyxfpJxYb9wUpkuapEE9nXe5QPZ1AU5VRq0P7rpSunoAJXsFyUbAIxSQsRDEEL9Vo-1bDGk0059fUlEryBnkNrJuwlK6mCDIWCEHKYU8N9zphNvQyqV0/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-10-21+at+12.53.56+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPmsfF-uNjPDemO9QKNEsYNoL7wyxfpJxYb9wUpkuapEE9nXe5QPZ1AU5VRq0P7rpSunoAJXsFyUbAIxSQsRDEEL9Vo-1bDGk0059fUlEryBnkNrJuwlK6mCDIWCEHKYU8N9zphNvQyqV0/s400/Screen+Shot+2012-10-21+at+12.53.56+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGq2WnjQyuOHLeEUBKxhZQFldTZayM5uVLS1GryrL3pm-FMY7VTMp_BXegt6jf9CJIQht_yEQ0l7iODKhd54XuxWni0eqbsnj5lK63w1zKfl-20St14_yMxc4gC4s7bHzi2JtkV7c6jmq3/s1600/bombadil.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGq2WnjQyuOHLeEUBKxhZQFldTZayM5uVLS1GryrL3pm-FMY7VTMp_BXegt6jf9CJIQht_yEQ0l7iODKhd54XuxWni0eqbsnj5lK63w1zKfl-20St14_yMxc4gC4s7bHzi2JtkV7c6jmq3/s320/bombadil.jpeg" width="280" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tom Bombadil</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK6a1KX5GkPeEtAVvLFlGr_BYrEKIxgGZy7l2HhpTg24U6HYt6EXkiOD7U29lOSw_M789wcQkSi3zN1JALO0-_nhyphenhyphenzB8FGOVbsInzz-ncGi5-bwy9GXgRB8garU5Gs0jgKpAqxx0a6oMvs/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-10-21+at+12.51.55+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK6a1KX5GkPeEtAVvLFlGr_BYrEKIxgGZy7l2HhpTg24U6HYt6EXkiOD7U29lOSw_M789wcQkSi3zN1JALO0-_nhyphenhyphenzB8FGOVbsInzz-ncGi5-bwy9GXgRB8garU5Gs0jgKpAqxx0a6oMvs/s200/Screen+Shot+2012-10-21+at+12.51.55+PM.png" width="172" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gandalf the White</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I know what you're thinking: <i>How you could possibly even consider voting for a third party candidate when the stakes are so high?</i><br />
<br />
It wasn't easy. I fully understand that my vote will likely be a "protest vote," voicing my disdain of the two major political parties with their blind adherence to militarism, erosion of civil liberties, and perpetuation of the corporate welfare state.<br />
<br />
My hesitation disappeared, however, after I sat down for an interview with Gandalf the White and his running mate, Tom Bombadil of the Old Forest atop the tower of Orthanc in the realm of Isenguard (transcript below):<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Chris Jas:</b> <i>Gentlemen thank you for joining me today. Many of our readers already know who you are, so why don't we start immediately with the issues. Gandalf, the state of public education in this country is deteriorating. Not only are we asking more of our teachers, but we are seeing a growing disparity of academic opportunities between students of higher and lower socioeconomic standings. In brief, how would you characterize your educational philosophy and the standards to which we should hold our nation's youth?</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Gandalf: </b><i>YOU SHALL NOT PASS!</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ: </b><i>Well put, Mithrandir. Indeed it does seem as though our expectations are falling as each subsequent generation enters the classroom. Many leftists argue that instead of budgeting for wars in the Middle East and expanding our drone campaigns in Pakistan, Yemen, and various Al Qaeda-infiltrated African countries, that we should instead be reinvesting in our schools. What is your take on the rampant militarism and violation of human rights for which this administration is responsible?</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>G:</b> </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i>Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ:</b> <i>Interesting point. And what of the the corporate welfare state? How do you view the Obama administration's refusal to prosecute any of the major banks or their respective CEO's, even in the wake of the most devastating financial collapse since the Great Depression?</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>G:</b> <i>One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ:</b> <i>I think I understand your meaning. But let us now turn to the social issues. It has been argued by many progressive pundits that your party is against same-sex marriage and that you yourself are in favor of policies such as "don't ask, don't tell." Could you clarify this ambiguity and state your opinions on homosexuality?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>G:</b> <i>Is it secret? Is it safe?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ:</b> <i>I'm not sure I understand... was that a rhetorical question?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>G:</b> <i>Such questions cannot be answered. You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ:</b> <i>I'm still not sure that answers my question, though I can imagine your supporters on the left will be disappointed... [at this point during the interview, Tom Bombadil, seemingly off in another world, gets up from his chair and begins to dance merrily atop the tower]</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ:</b> <i>Mr. Bombadil, you've been waiting patiently. When I polled our readers, the most prevalent question about you was this: "who <b>is</b> the real Tom Bombadil?" Now that you have the opportunity, could you answer this question which is on the minds of so many Americans?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Tom Bombadil:</b> <i>Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow. None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master: His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ:</b> <i>Cogent and defining, Mr. Bombadil. It is well documented that you have raised awareness for childhood obesity in this country for several years now. If elected, do you intend to further champion this cause?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>TB:</b> <i>Hey! now! Come hoy now! Whither do you wander? Up, down, near or far, here, there or yonder? Sharp-ears, Wise-nose, Swish-tail and Bumpkin, White-socks my little lad, and old Fatty Lumpkin!</i></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> [After answering this question, Mr. Bombadil, who is still not seated, sprints down Orthanc's staircase, turns south and begins running fast, tossing up his hat and catching it until he is hidden from view; but for some time his "hey now! hoy now!" comes floating back down the wind]</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ: </b><i>Right... um... Gandalf back to you. What are your thoughts on Tom Bombadil as a running mate? Could he truly be expected to govern this country if the worst should happen to you?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>G:</b> <i>Even if he could, soon or late the Lord of the Rings would learn of his hiding place and would bend all his power towards him. Could that power be defied by Bombadil alone? I think not. I think that in the end, if all else is conquered, Bombadil will fall. Last as he was First; and then Night will come.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CJ:</b> <i>I wouldn't call that encouraging, yet you touch upon a serious issue that I think plagues many young voters today, voters who feel as though their voices don't count, voters who feel helplessly thrown into a binary system, voters who feel as though there is no longer any hope left for fundamental change in this country. I ask you: what is your message to these voters?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>G:</b> <span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i>It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">[At this point in the interview, Gandalf immediately rises from his seat, sprints to the edge of the tower, and leaps into the void, only to be safely caught by Gwaihir, Windlord, greatest of the eagles.]</span></i></span><br />
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You have more than two choices this November. A vote of protest may be mocked, but a vote of complacency changes nothing.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">[Completely-out-of-context and slightly-manipulated quotes taken from <i>The Fellowship of the Ring</i> by J.R.R. Tolkien]</span>Chris Jashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16511967476422687435noreply@blogger.com0