Apathy's Back-- ALRIGHT!

Earlier this week in the south of France I came across a "Solidarity with Gaza" rally. I had just missed the "I'd Like to Stay out of It for the Time Being" rally so I figured why not?

The scene was intense; activists on loudspeakers, Palestinian flags waving, gruesome pictures of dead children, etc. The rally was just about to begin its march to the prefecture when I suddenly felt a wave of fear and anxiety hit me.

I couldn't explain it in the moment, but it was as though a dark metaphorical cloud of waning liberty and injustice was slowly encroaching on the crowd, an evil ready to feed on the doubts of those practicing free speech and assembly.


I slowly turned my head, and BEHELD:

Source: Google image search: "Freedom Haters"

The French Young Communist Movement.


My fear transformed into sheer terror as I witnessed this ruthless band of radicals plotting, sneering, texting as they slowly invaded the the protest.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an anti-communist in all respects. The word "communism" alone leaves a bile taste in my mouth, only extinguished by a liter of Coke and a nacho cheese chalupa. Unfortunately, neither of those were readily on hand.

It sickened me to see the Young Communists infiltrate such a purposeful rally, handing out their propaganda, persuading the well-intentioned activists into relinquishing their personal freedoms. The whole time I watched in agony, unable to combat this caustic tide.

When I overcame my initial disgust, I did what any aspiring writer would do: ask questions.

I obviously didn't ask any questions of the Young Communists themselves; I've been well educated on the dangers of the easily transmitted "West Europe Commie Virus." So I rather looked inward than put myself in harm's way. My biggest question of the evening was "why are they here?" Below, I offer some theories.

As we know, this was a rally concerning the most recently ended Israeli-Palestinian clash (just kidding!). Thus conclusions were not difficult to reach.

My first theory was that the Young Communists were attending the rally to protest the disproportionate amount of military power between Gaza and Israel (some numbers here). Their likely solution being to collect all rockets from both Israelis and Palestinians and redistribute them equally, so that all men, women, and children on both sides of the conflict were properly armed.

Another theory was more symbolic; the Young Communists would gather a pool of collective outrage over the events in Gaza and redistribute that outrage equally amongst ardent supporters and apathetic onlookers, thus making everyone in the world slightly, but not really over-interested in the conflict, comparable to a New Kids on the Block reunion tour.

Joey McIntyre seen left, hating life

The Young Communists have already succeeded in this respect. After in-depth research and discussions with friends, family, and colleagues, it's evident that another NKOTB reunion tour would fall flat, even with the power of the Backstreet Boys.

The symbol of worldwide apathy?

Folks, if the combined might planet Earth's greatest boy bands cannot stir the tides of conviction, what hope do we have?

"It's gonna be MAY "

Help us Jobi-wan Timberlakenobi, you're our only hope.


In conclusion, I'll leave you with one more piece of propaganda from the Young Communists' website. If this still leaves you unmotivated to take cause with the world's problems, then the future of mankind will be but a pipe dream.

Translation: "Come join us in Godless enslavement-- WE BELIEVE IN NOTHING!"

Stick to your convictions. It might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie . . .